No Exit

2012-01-08T13:36:00.000-05:00

All The Times You Screwed Me Over
(Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know (Walk Off The Earth Cover))

I'm still alive. One day I will get back to this.

Great Canadian band out of Burlington. Check them out. You won't regret it.

2011-09-10T00:20:00.009-04:00

My Little Ninja
(Coldplay - Yellow)

On August 29th, 2011 at 7:01 am a little ninja named Arya Paige Le was born.

It's amazing how something so small can change the entire meaning of your life.

Look at the stars. Look how they shine for you.

2011-05-25T21:59:00.007-04:00

Unexpectations
(New Heights - Peaches)

Great video to raise the awareness for the deaf. Also a great video to remind us that there is still a lot of humanity in this crazy world. Finding humanity sometimes comes as a great surprise to me. It's an even greater surprise when I find it in myself ;)

When was the last time you found a little unexpected humanity?

2011-03-14T23:00:00.002-04:00

This Will Be Legen...wait for it...dary.
(Keane - Everybody's Changing)

When you're younger, you always have these grand ideas of how your life would turn out. Things like your career; when you'd get married; how big your house would be; how many kids you'd have; and what age you'd have them.

And it's a recurring theme in my blog, whether explicit or implicit -- the path you take is never the straight and shortest path. The path is a winding one. One that curves around the everyday obstacles in your life. And occasionally along that path you may stub your toe on some poorly paved intentions but knowing that your journey holds some exciting stories to tell your children one day, makes it all worth while.

And in the latest part of my journey, I have found out that I will have someone to tell my exciting stories to come late July/early August. Yes, I will be a father. It's something I always knew I wanted to do. When I was younger, it was something I thought would happen sooner rather than later but you can't always time these things.

So the preparation has started for the arrival of said unnamed baby. I bought a new car a couple of weeks ago which is a larger vehicle than my last car. I managed to convince Sonia to let me purchase a vehicle that's both sporty and fun to drive and still has the features that a family would look for. It's my last bit of splurging before I have to compete with the child to see who gets their toys first. As most fathers will testify, that's not a winning battle.

The baby's room will start taking shape in the next couple of months as I do some spring cleaning on our 2nd bedroom, repaint it and furnish it with the typical things a baby room should have.

There are so many things that need to happen between now and then. It's a bit overwhelming. And though I may joke to my friends with the occasional "It's too late for me, save yourselves!", it's all very surreal if not mind-blowing amazing.

For me mind-blowing excitement is something I've never really been able to grasp. My moods and excitement levels have always been on a more conservative scale than the average person. Here's where my friends would say, "That's because you're a robot." I know Sonia and a few friends are hoping that when this baby is born, that the robot in me will leak some oil in the tear duct area. I can't guarantee that but I can guarantee that I will cherish every day that this baby is in my life.

2011-02-28T01:00:00.003-05:00

Just Let Yourself Fall Into Landslide
(Crystal Castles - Not In Love fet. Robert Smith)

One incredible remake of a classic Platinum Blonde song from the 80's. This is arguably better than the original when you factor in the great vocals by legendary Robert Smith.

It's been a very busy two months. As my life starts picking up some steam, I'm finding myself less and less able to find the time to update this blog. And it's not without desire because I find blogging as one of the greatest cathartic mediums. Especially for someone like myself who never grew up with much of an emotional outlet. Even robots need to flush their engines every now and then.

As proof of my desire to keep my writing alive, I submit the following evidence to the court. I recently bought an Amazon Kindle to kick-start an old hobby of mine. Yes I do read! I find there's no bigger inspiration to writing than reading. I'm currently reading Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell. If anyone's read this, I'd love to hear your opinion.

I'm currently in Tampa Bay for a couple of days for work but I promise, I'll have an update for you guys within the next week.

To be continued...

2011-01-11T15:27:00.006-05:00

Happy New Year
(Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros - Home)

First post of 2011. Happy New Year!

Let's start off with some good news. I'm getting promoted to project manager at my company. It's not exactly VP of Add More Awesome but it's something. If I did however get promoted to VP of AMA, I'd definitely add this video to our company website.

You'll often hear me say in reference to being around kids, "This is my nightmare." This kid is one of the few exceptions. Phenomenal.

Starting this year off right by going to visit my grandma who I haven't seen in over a year. Just bought a ticket to DC on points to go visit in February and saw this on my bill.

Fuel Surcharge $54.00
Canada Goods And Service Tax $4.06
NAV Canada - Air Navigation Services $15.00
U.S Agriculture Fee $5.00
U.S Immigration User Fee $7.00
Canada Domestic/International Airport Improvement Fee $25.00
Canada Harmonized Sales Tax $3.25
U.S. International Transportation Tax $32.40
Canada Domestic/International Air Travel Security Charge $12.10
U.S. Passenger Safety Fee $2.50
U.S Passenger Facility Charge $4.50
Total airport taxes, fees and surcharges per passenger $164.81

So if any of you were wondering why the airline industry was suffering so bad, here's proof in the pudding that they need to fire their VP of Add More Suck and hire a VP of AMA. I mean I realize that you have to pay taxes and fees to keep the airlines running but this is a bit ridiculous.

In other news, lately I've noticed from my blog traffic summaries, that my readership has tripled. It's gone from around 3-4 page views per day to around 11. It's not much but I'll take whatever I can get. It could also be simply spam bots but judging from the average length of time that is spent per visit, which is around 2 minutes, it's not just the tip but a bona fide quicky these readers are having on my page! And I thank you anonymous readers because without you, this would be the blog equivalent of masturbation. I hope one day we can upgrade from these quickies to a real relationship.

Lastly an update on my fashion-stealing coworker. Apparently stealing my cardigan outfit wasn't enough. He showed up to work this week wearing the cardigan outfit and rocking a pair of converses. I was so tempted to tell him that his outfit was so "Khiem 2010". Before any of you start calling me a hipster, I will note that my jeans have never been tight (excluding the day after thanksgiving) nor have I wore ironic glasses and downloaded an app on an iphone.

2010-12-28T00:28:00.005-05:00

Fashion Lessons From the Unfashionable - My Cardigan Story
(Weezer - The Sweater Song)

So I'm not going to lie and tell you that I brought the cardigan back in style. In fact it's been in style for a couple of years now. I will tell you that I bought a cardigan about a year ago and got a ton of grief from my friends for wearing it. Apparently, it was a drastic change in my wardrobe from my classic jeans and rock band t-shirt look. My fashion sense has changed over the last few years as I've matured and my career has progressed. Only natural.

So the story goes -- I bought a gray cardigan about a year ago while in Hong Kong on a work trip. I thought the look was smart but still fun. I wore the gray cardigan occasionally at work and occasionally when I went out at night. You can wear it with a white t-shirt for a casual relaxed look or you can wear it with a tucked in dress shirt with a tie for a more formal look. It's a very versatile piece of clothing.

Then about a month ago, my coworker who sits in the cubicle right beside me decides to change his wardrobe. Let's call him "Tim". He said he needed a change. He wanted to dress more mature at work. So he goes out and buys a bunch of cardigans, dress shirts, dress pants and ties. He proceeds to wear this outfit everyday of the work week. For awhile it was the story of the office. People would ask me, "What's up with Tim and his new cardigan outfits?" Each day he had a different coloured cardigan to go with a different dress shirt or tie.

At first I didn't realize how this would impact me. Then came the day that I wore my cardigan to work. Every other person I spoke with said, "You look like so-and-so today." or "Are you trying to copy Tim?" So here I am with probably the biggest dilemma I've had at work since that time I couldn't decide between a burrito and a big mac for lunch. How do I wear my cardigan again without getting ridiculed and compared to a guy who was 2 years late into the cardigan game?!?

So I schemed and thought hard for a couple of days. The strategy I came up with was simple. I was exaggerating when I said he wore a cardigan everyday of the week. He probably wore a cardigan about 3-4 times a week. However he rarely wore it more than 3 days in a row. So I mapped out his cardigan wearing patterns. And on one fateful Thursday in December, I decided to make my move. It also coincided with the company Christmas party. I wore my gray cardigan with the new festive red tie I had bought while in Seoul, Korea for work. It was time for my cardigan to make it's return!

As I strolled into work, feeling great about this fantastic festive outfit I had put together, I walked by Tim's desk. BLUE CARDIGAN!! WITH A TIE!! 4 DAYS IN A ROW!! So for the rest of the day I had to endure the "Hey where's your twin?" and "You're ripping off Tim's style." comments. Amplified by the social atmosphere at our company xmas party, it was my version of a Nightmare Before Christmas.

(You could say I was "Schuestered".)

And I can sit here and argue back and forth about how I wore the cardigan well before Tim ever sported one but I have no one to blame but myself. I made some key miscalculations in my plan.

1) I miscalculated the risk of wearing the same outfit at a social event as my coworker. It doesn't matter if the chance of Tim wearing the outfit was 50% or 5%. The fact is, if it does happen, it's the equivalent to social suicide. Every woman will tell you this.

2) It doesn't matter who wears the outfit first, it matters only who "OWNS" the outfit. That doesn't mean who looks better in the outfit, because we all know I look better in the outfit. It just means who wears it the MOST. I was never going to "OWN" this outfit, it was merely a compliment to my wardrobe -- not the defining piece.

So I've officially retired this cardigan from my work wardrobe and any events where said coworker would be attending. It is simply not worth the ridicule I faced that day. Just to let you know though, I just started wearing split toe brown dress shoes with some of my work clothes. If Tim shows up to next year's xmas party sporting these, someone better be telling him he's ripping off Khiem's styles.

P.S. The new style of wearing mismatched patterns in an outfit (e.g. plaid shirt with striped tie) was patented by me back when it was a fashion faux pas. You could say I'm years ahead of my time or a fashion pioneer - but I know you won't.

2010-12-23T14:48:00.007-05:00

A Le Dong Christmas
(Wham - Last Christmas)

Christmas is here and you can’t help but enjoy the spirit of the holidays. And when I say spirit, I’m not talking about people rushing around buying gifts for others. While it’s a nice gesture, gift buying these days is more of a routine and obligation than it is about sharing with those who have less than us. It goes without saying that we should be giving to those less fortunate but this post isn’t about being a humanitarian or a philanthropist. It’s about enjoying the season and being thankful for what you’ve got.

I love Christmas because it’s the anticipation of seeing family and friends. It’s people going out of their way to decorate their houses and trees for others to enjoy. It’s the look on a child’s face as they see their first Christmas tree. Even in a family like mine where we didn’t grow up with the luxury of spending hundreds of dollars on a Christmas tree and ornaments, seeing the Christmas tree always brought a smile to our faces.

Fact be told our Christmas tree was probably the ugliest tree on the block. It made the Charlie Brown Christmas tree look good. For starters, we didn’t have a lot of ornaments. The ornaments we did have, didn’t match. The tree itself was probably the cheapest fake tree you could buy. I remember one year in an attempt to fill the tree up, we placed all the Christmas cards we got in the mail from family and friends on the tree. Another year we filled the tree with all of our old used toys. The tree was filled with old WWF figurines, GI Joe’s, Barbie accessories and a giant yellow popple (an 80’s furry toy). I believe that was our favourite Christmas tree of all time. I’ve tried to reconstruct what our tree would look like today.

Our gifts were always a mixed bag of WTF and FML with the occasional epic gift. My favourite WTF gifts – underwear, socks, Tiffany’s CD (I might have actually liked this) and the ever popular giant Toblerone. You have to remember, being a kid, wearing underwear was not one of my primary concerns. It still isn’t actually. The FML gifts were the ones my relatives gave to me that I had to wear to school that looked ridiculous. This included a teal coloured sweater with giant polar bears on it, a full body black snowsuit, a jean outfit that included acid washed jeans and matching vest, topped off with cowboy boots. Of course you can almost forget and forgive those presents when you get your favourite Transformer, GI Joe and a red bmx bike. In retrospect having more shitty gifts always keeps you humble and more appreciative of the few great gifts in your life.

There were always those great treks to see relatives. Driving 10 hrs down to Washington DC to visit my aunts, uncles and grandparents. During those trips we would be huddled in the backseat with blankets as my dad rolled down the window every 15 minutes to smoke. You see, he wasn’t allowed to smoke with the window because 2nd hand smoke kills. However, -20 C winds blowing through the car was a mere nuisance easily cured by jackets and blankets. And since this was pre-GPS, my parents were always good for at least one argument after we got lost b/c my mom would fall asleep in the passenger seat (a family skill passed on from generation to generation) and my dad would continue to drive straight until someone told him to turn. All was well though when we arrived to a large family gathering with our grandparents happy to see us. Of course there were always tears of sadness from my grandparents as we left to go back to Toronto.

Now as we grow older, we still do the family gatherings but we don’t make those long treks anymore. At least not as frequently. Most of our holidays are spent locally with the immediate family. And our family Christmas tree doesn’t always make an appearance anymore. I’m not sure why. Maybe it was all of those years of us kids making fun and being ashamed of it. Maybe it’s because now that the kids have grown up and left the house, my parents have no one to decorate the tree for.

So this year I’m having the family over at my house for Christmas dinner for the very first time. It will coincide with relatives coming into town for my baby sister’s engagement party. It will be another large gathering and reunion. This year more than any year, I’m looking forward to buying and decorating my own tree for my parents and our relatives.

Happy holidays everyone.

2010-11-21T09:13:00.007-05:00

Tokyo Drift
(Stars - Wasted Daylight)

(In the way your hand hits the wave
In between the dreamer and the breath
Long beside the bitter of the skin
Today won't know when to begin)

About 10 yrs ago, I was suppose to move to Japan to teach English. At the time, everything in my life was very uncertain. I had just graduated from university and I wasn't sure as to what my next steps in life were. My parents had hoped I would go to medical school but I couldn't live up to their expectations. I was also in a relationship with a girl from Texas that I didn't know was going anywhere. It was a struggle daily to figure out how we would bridge that distance between us. It seemed like the wrong time for me to just get up and go wander the world, make the distance between us larger. I convinced myself that I needed to sort out my life, understand where it was headed before I could go on an adventure. It was my responsibility. It was also an excuse for me to avoid my fear of uncertainty.

So I turned down the offer and stayed in Toronto. I found work at an electronics manufacturing company. It wasn't related to my degree but it would help me get started in paying off my student loans. Ironically, it paid half as much as I would've got paid in Japan. The long distance relationship didn't improve. I didn't have any experience that an employer would want to go through the trouble of arranging a visa for me to work there. So I spent a year trying to sort things out but got absolutely nowhere.

The following year I decided to throw caution to the wind and re-apply for that job. I got an interview with the same company. In the interview, they asked me why I turned down the job the previous year. I told them I wasn't ready at the time to make that leap of faith. I waited anxiously for them to call me back. They called me back a week later to let me know that I did not get the job. They felt like I couldn't commit to it. And there you had it -- an opportunity that stared me in the face and I let it slip by.

As the years went by, my friends and family all had the opportunity to go to Japan. Each and every time, they'd come back with stories of how wonderful it is there. The adventures they had. The great culture they soaked in. Each time it was just more salt in the wound for me.

So here I am sitting in my hotel room in Seoul. Trying to collect my thoughts about the weekend I just had in Tokyo. I took a day off from work on this 2 week business trip and decided to fly to Japan to finally see what I had missed out on all these years. After watching inception on the plane ride to Seoul last week, I had hoped that Tokyo wouldn't be as overrated and overhyped as that movie was for me. You have to remember that Tokyo had been hyped up in my mind for the past 10 years. If it didn't live up to my expectations, I would've been devastated.

And there were many hurdles in getting to Tokyo once again. This time I couldn't find a cheap direct flight there from Seoul. The flights using my air miles were only first class and only left early on Friday morning. I had hoped to not miss too much work and fly out Friday evening. I finally told myself, "Who knows when you'll have this opportunity again. Missing one day of work will not make or break the project." I booked that flight. I had a wonderful time. Tokyo was more than I had ever thought it would be. Extremely clean, wonderfully built and so immersed in history and culture. Not to mention the great food and great company I had with a few friends who were there as well.

Now I'm back to reality getting prepared for work tomorrow. I've got one more week in Seoul and then it's back to Toronto for the next little while. It doesn't seem like I've missed a step even though I took time off for myself. And that's what I need to keep telling myself. That taking time off doesn't mean I'm going to derail my career or my life. I just need to step back sometimes and regain my balance before getting back on this high speed train that is my life.

That's what I will tell my grandchildren one day. Don't worry about the uncertainty. Life will not leave you behind. Don't regret missing out on your Tokyo.

2010-09-16T13:33:00.005-04:00

Hello From Narita
(Eminem - Love The Way You Lie)

Did a crazy wicked rendition of this song at karaoke last week. Channeling the anger and passion of Marshall Mathers. It was nice to get some anger out. I guess maybe I'm angry at overworking myself and just tiring myself out when I should be enjoying life. It's been 5/6 weeks on the road now. I'm back to Toronto for 2 weeks and then I head out for another 2 weeks to Korea. I missed basically half of my summer. I know I have no one to blame but myself. Sometimes I don't know how to say no to people and sometimes I just like to be a workaholic. That's why this song is so perfect. I know sometimes I torture myself.

On a lighter note, here's a funny story. I'm sitting in Narita airport right now on a 9 hr layover from Kuala Lumpur. Just woke up from a nice 3 hour nap in a private sleeping area where they have lounge chairs with foot stools so you can put your legs up. The nap felt pretty damn good but after I woke up I discovered that the chair I was sitting in actually pulled completely out into a bed position. Of course I'm wide awake now. FML.

Oh...I bought a ninja outfit in one of the souvenir shops here. Will go great with my sword and throwing stars at home. Parents never allowed me to have a ninja costume when I was younger. Never too late to be a kid again. I should wear it the next time I go visit my parents just to spite them. Yeah that's right, your 34 year old son bought his own ninja suit...how do you like them apples?

Does anyone take a lot of enjoyment out of being able to bypass lines at the airport with their Elite airline status? I mean I have an unhealthy enjoyment out of essentially budding in line and then looking back at the 30-40 person deep line and chuckling under my breath. Sorry losers, I've been in transit for 31 hrs so you can suck it! Wait, I've been in transit for 31 hrs, I'm probably the loser here. At least I have status bitches!

Wow...this was an unnecessarily angry post. I'm sure I will be happier when I arrive back in TO.

I think someone once said, "You only have one life, but if you do it right, one is enough." I'm not doing it right, right now. I need better work/life balance. It's a continuing work in progress for me.

2010-09-13T14:08:00.005-04:00

One comes by the sea; one comes by the land and no one lives to tell the tale.
(Sigur Ros - Glosoli)

149, 150, 151, 152...oh Hi. I didn't see you there. I was just doing some pushups.

So my stay here in Kuala Lumpur is winding down. I've been here 5 of the last 6 weeks. Some highlights of my trip?

- Finding out from my life insurance company that my quote went from $28/month to $186/month after they found out I've been travelling here for work the past couple of months.
- Eating a rubbery piece of freshly shucked oyster at an all-you-can-eat karaoke bar and not getting sick.
- Watching a coworker sing and dance to Kesha's tik tok (that nearly made me sick).
- Realizing I had only packed enough underwear to last me til the 2nd last day before I leave for home. It's ok though, I can just turn my last pair inside out.
- Total days missed because of weekend travel, missing Canadian holidays and/or working weekends = 10, FML.
- Diarrhea from something I had eaten...twice.
- Total number of fake watches asked by friends/family/coworkers to bring back = 9.
- Haven't had a haircut in about 5 weeks so my hair is in the "too long to gel, too short to put in a ponytail" stage.
- Saw a monkey on the street begging for food.

So looking forward to being back in Toronto for a couple of weeks. I really miss my bbq. And maybe my wife. ;) Looking forward to playing bball and vball. Lots of home stuff to take care of when I get back...ughh.

Oh...and at the beginning of October I have a date with destiny. Her name is Korea. Haven't been there before. Probably would enjoy it if it weren't for work and if it weren't on the back end of a 5 week trip to Kuala Lumpur. Le sigh.

Anyone know Hyori Lee's or Yuna Kim's address?

Ok...gotta go...

You hang up! No, YOU hang up! Ok, on the count of 3, we both hang up together.
1-2-3. I knew you wouldn't hang up!

2010-09-05T03:39:00.003-04:00

Hello From KL
(Michael Buble - Home)

Home in 2 weeks but then the week after that off to Seoul, South Korea for 2 weeks.

By the end of that trip I will have travelled 7 of the past 9 weeks.

It's lonely. Work is stressful. I miss home. Where is my salvation?

2010-08-30T18:12:00.005-04:00

My Childhood Home
(Arcade Fire - The Wilderness Downtown)

2010-08-22T04:28:00.005-04:00

Back in TO
(Eminem - Love The Way You Lie)

4:30 am back in TO. Jet lag in full effect right now and I'm watching some youtube videos to pass the time. Sometimes I wonder why I continue to do this. Travelling back and forth between continents for work. If I hear another person say, "you're so lucky to get to travel to exotic places for work!" I'll punch them in the mouth. I know I always have the choice to quit but sometimes it doesn't feel that way. People tend to set a standard for themselves and then they're unwilling to fall back from that standard. You never want to take a step back in anything you're doing. You're either in it to win it, or you fall to the back of the pack. That's the way I feel about my career. It's not that want or need to make more money. It's that I don't want to fall back to where I started. Seeing my friends all graduate and head off to work, while I struggled to find a job was one of the worst times in my life. It's probably this fear of going back there that keeps me going. I hope one day I can overcome that fear and walk away happy with what I've done in my life.

2010-08-14T02:57:00.006-04:00

More Tidbits from KL
(The Egg - Wall)

In Kuala Lumpur, if I want to buy a shirt that looks like it's been painted on my body, I buy a medium. If I want to buy a slim fit shirt that helps me do a standout robot impression, I get a large.

If I want to buy a regular fitting shirt, I need to go to a "western" store where I would buy a medium.

I feel like a fat westerner here. Which makes me want to get some exercise and lose some weight.

However, no one jogs in Kuala Lumpur. In fact I've been told no one but westerners jog in all of Asia. What is it about Asia that deters jogging? Are people less concerned about physical health/appearance here? Are the streets and sidewalks less safe for joggers? The sidewalks are definitely narrower and more congested. The cars on the street definitely do not give right of way to pedestrians. It's also 40 C here everyday. The gods are definitely conspiring against me getting back in shape.

...

I have a "special" coworker that ranks probably a 15/10 on the scale for unintentional comedy. We attended an awards show for our client's sales force this past weekend. Upon arriving in the grand ballroom that seated over 2000 sales reps I noted how there were bags of balloons in the rafters. I then commented about what time those balloons would be raining down on people. Her comment was this...

"Balloons don't fall down, they go up."

Sometimes I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Here are some famous sayings from her in last 2 trips we've made to KL.

"You should try to see things from a different ankle."

"A hole is a hole, it doesn't matter which one." (while playing pool)

"Maybe I'm just acting dumb."

...

Today a random stranger stopped me in the street and passionately said to me, "you know, you are a very lucky man but you think too much."

Prophecy or just a random crazy stranger? Makes me wonder. My mom also had my fortune told recently on a trip back to Vietnam. She said that the fortune teller told her that I would be very lucky and prosperous in my 30's but there's a risk that I would lose it all in my 40's.

Now I'm not one for destiny and such, as I find destiny just makes people lazy as they wait for their own fate rather than work towards their goals/dreams; however, it still makes me nervous.

...

Late next month, I may be blogging tidbits from Korea while I hunt down Hyori Lee and Yuna Kim.

2010-08-11T16:17:00.003-04:00

Tidbits from KL
(Arrested Development - Mr. Wendal)

This week's theme is GHETTO and I AM OLD. You know what I mean? Holla at yo boy! I've always wanted to say that. I've also wanted to spill a 40 for all the boys I've lost in the hood. To date that number would be zero. Hurry up and die already fools! Sorry, that got dark. I got nothin but mad loves for my peeps!

So I'm in the hood this week. Yup, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Managing my first project. Exciting times I tell you. The only difference I've noticed so far is that I get to boss more people around than I normally do. High five for being bossy. *smack* For realz tho, it's nice to be able to delegate work instead of having work delegated to you. Though I will tell you this, there is legitimately a lot of things to do as a PM. There's a lot more responsibility involved in managing a project than I would've given any PM credit for in the past. It's funny how you actually appreciate what another human being goes through when you walk a mile in their shoes. You so crazy ninja!

Ran into some body/hygiene issues today...

1) I noticed some wrinkles that weren't there before on my forehead this morning. What the hell?? Damn you old age! So I bought a big quicksilver sun hat at lunch to hide it. Problem solved.

2) I also noticed one long nose hair growing out of my right nostril. Unfortunately I left my nose hair trimmers at home and could only find a pair of tweezers in my travel pack. I had to make the tough decision between waiting til I could find a safe pair of scissors or go through the excruciating pain of plucking the offending hair out. Cuz seriously, there's nothing more distracting than when you're talking to someone and their nose hair is waving at you.

3) While plucking the long nose hair out, I noticed a white nose hair. What the hell! Damn you old father time!! I didn't pluck this one out. I'm still waiting to get over the pain of the first pluck. Plus this one isn't waving at anyone.

So about to get ready to go have some dinner with the project team and then we're headed to the sky lounge to have some drinks and get krunked. It's been a long week and I think I deserve it.

Another week before I head back to TO. Can't wait. I miss you crazy cats.

2010-08-06T00:54:00.003-04:00

We've Only Just Begun
(PSB - Being Boring)

She was never bored because she was never boring.

One of my favourite pet shop boys songs is about the ideals that you have when you're younger and how they turn out as you grow older. Kind of interesting to think back to that age and what you thought the world would be when you grew older. How completely naive we were and yet how completely convinced we were that we had a solid grasp of the differences between right and wrong. And then comparing it to what we believe today. For me it's night and day.

Just for a good laugh, I'll tell you this -- at around age 12, I thought I'd wait til I found the right girl and was married before I had sex. By age 16 I had revised this belief to waiting til I was 18, the legal age of sexual consent. I might have made that up. By age 17 I thought, what the heck, I don't have to wait. It was ok because I had met my one true love and would marry her one day. And by age 19 I thought she was a lying, cheating, fat whore. That just got awkward. Some people call me a cautionary tale. :P

So what does it say if the difference in our beliefs is radically different today than what it was back then? Have we grown and matured along with some of our ideals? Have we revised our beliefs to justify our actions? Or have we become jaded and lost hope in those pipe dreams? They're probably all correct for different people or even different points in a person's life. I just find it interesting to chart the natural path of our beliefs and ideals.

Before I get too serious, I'll tell you this. Even though I feel as though I've grown immensely as a person over the years, I really miss being a kid. Kids are highly impressionable which I think is completely to their benefit. Being impressionable means you can easily find inspiration. Being inspired is the first step to finding your passion.

2010-07-21T16:20:00.002-04:00

Growing Pains
(Florence + The Machine - Addicted to Love)

I know I haven't written in awhile but such is the pace of life these days that I really do not have time to sit and reflect much. There's always something to do now that I have a full-fledged career, got married and . I also need to support all the new adult debt I've acquired in the past couple of years. I thought owning a condo was a big step and tons of responsibility. I've entered the next phase with this house and it seems as though there isn't enough I can do to catch up.

And it would almost seem as though there's some negativity in my voice but there are definitely positives to all of this. As painful as the work and effort put into growing up, the reward is what keeps us all going isn't it? I mean we all do this to realize the dream of one day having a family and owning a house where we can watch our kids grow up, don't we?

Which gets me to what I've been thinking about lately...

It seems as though the older I get, the more accelerated my growth and maturity occur. I remember trying to understand myself and struggling with figuring out who I was and how I was going to accomplish things in life. Wishing I could just solve the puzzle and get to the finish line sooner. I didn't really appreciate the process as much.

These days, things are happening at such a fast pace that I am a bit scared that life is simply going to pass me by. How do I slow down the pace and simply enjoy the adventure more? Am I destined to simply spend all my hours working and supporting the family and renovating/maintaining the house? I keep joking with my friends telling them that "This is my nightmare!", but the reality is that it's part of the dream I've always wanted for myself only now that I've arrived, it's overwhelming.

I'm hoping and I suspect that I am right that the pace of life is like a bell curve. You spend your early years really struggling to find yourself and equip yourself with the best tools to succeed in life. It's a slow process. Then as you hit your 30's, you know your goals and your dreams are no longer the pipe type and you're well equipped to fulfill them. Fast forward to your mid to late 30's and now you've hit the ground running and before you know it, you've got a family, a full-fledged career and you spend your weekends fixing things around the house and making sure the kids are well-adapted for the same journey you took. By the time you hit your 50's your kids are (hopefully) no longer as dependent on you and are making good decisions based on their wonderful upbringing. Now is when things slow down for you and you sit back and enjoy watching your kids face the same challenges. Your career is no longer going up but rather holding steady until you're ready to retire.

This is when I hope to sit back and fondly reminisce and reflect upon the sometimes slow, sometimes fast-paced rollercoaster ride that was/is my life.

2010-05-27T23:58:00.007-04:00

Back in Black
(Sigur Ros - Hoppipolla)

So I'm back...it's been awhile but things got busy. Busy but still fun. That's the key to keeping a nice steady and balanced life. You can work as hard as you want as long as you keep it fun and interesting. Here's a good example. We have a group chat at work that allows us to ask our coworkers work-related questions. Here's a conversation we had the other day.

[Kynan] Is there a way to reset the admin password outside of the admin client?

[Zak] arg ..
[Zak] don't ask these questions ..
[Kynan] eg. the admin forgets
[Kynan] it's your man Woody
[Zak] log in as scheduler
[Kynan] he wants to write up a stored procedure to reset the password in case of problems like that
[Zak] change it
[Zak] we won't support that shit
[Kynan] I told him
[Zak] you know the answer ..
[Zak] :P
[Kynan] Hey Woody,

So, while your script may probably work, Varicent does not support or condone any manipulation of the model database outside of using the Varicent Admin client frontend.

Historically, I have found that if the model appears to have been tampered with, our Support group may classify problems as ‘customer created’, which can cause issues and delays.
I wouldn’t recommend using a script or stored procedure like this for that reason.

Khiem: you type quick

varicent: [jameslane1] Speedy

Khiem: gonzalez

varicent: [Zak] that's what she said

Khiem: she's just a smalltown girl

varicent: [Kynan] living in a lonely woooorld
[Zak] she took the mid night train
[Zak] going anywhere
[Kynan] he was a city boy
[Zak] born and raised in south Detroit

Khiem: I started the lyrics to don't stop believing on a chat
my life is complete

varicent: [Zak] fuck Khiem
[jameslane1] Ha

Khiem: tell Woody if he messes with the backend he's gonna be a smalltown girl living in a lonely world b/c support isn't going to help him

varicent: [Zak] LOL

Ok lots to update but not so much time to organize my thoughts. So I'm gonna just spout the first things that come to mind.

Sonia and I just bought a house. It's ridonkulously expensive but it's in the same neighbourhood we've lived in the last 3 years and it's also on the subway line, which is important. Our house is a bungalow with a finished basement and 2 elevators. That's right, 2 elevators. It was owned previously by a couple that was handicapped so they installed two elevators to go from the basement to the main floor. Now I'm looking for a little man in a suit to operate the elevator when we move in.

The week after we bought our house, we sold our condo. It sold on the first day it showed and we got very close to what we had asked for which was nice. Special thanks to our real estate broker Jojo and our friendly staging pro Anna.

I went to a work conference two weeks ago in Phoenix, AZ where I did a presentation in front of 70+ people. First time, and surprisingly I wasn't as nervous as I thought I'd be. I guess practicing my presentation countless times and being prepared actually helped. Go figure. I remember being deathly afraid of public speaking in high school but I think I've made strides over the last 5 years. Which goes to show you, there isn't a crutch you can't overcome. Whether that's building an elevator because you are in a wheelchair or whether that's developing a skill you never thought you had. I don't know if that last statement was awful or motivational. #youdecide

Also managed to win about $1000 at the poker tables on the last night there. The $1000 will be going towards my new bbq for the new house. Can't wait to furnish my favourite part of the house! While Sonia is preparing her grand plans for renovating the kitchen, I'm preparing my plans for my dream patio. It involves a Weber bbq, patio lanterns, an above ground fireplace and a nice patio furniture set. T-29 days before we move in. Can't wait!

2010-04-13T00:02:00.006-04:00

Overwhelmed
(Kristy McNichol - Hold On)

Still overwhelmed at work. Too many projects, too little time. Also very stressed and nervous about that upcoming conference I'm suppose to speak at. No it's not "Fatherhood, the Journey". That's later in the year. Get your tickets before they're sold out. Actually the conference I'm speaking at in May is a company conference for all of our clients where I'm suppose to speak about implementation best practices. Not entirely exciting but a good career move I've been told.

You know what soothes my soul when I get overwhelmed and stressed like this? The first thing is good food. Probably one of my favourite Vietnamese dishes involves fresh spring rolls with noodles, veggies, herbs and either shrimp, pork or both. Favourite herb to put in my rolls? Wait for it...fish mint. Yes I know it's not a very popular mint because of the name and strong taste but for some reason my palette just loves it. I had this dish with the wife yesterday. I am still craving it as we speak.

Here's what fish mint looks like...

http://vietherbs.com/herb-directory/fish-herb/

The second part that soothes my soul when I'm stressed involves a cheesy 80's movie. Just got my Pirate Movie dvd in the mail the other day only to realize that it was in PAL format (British format) and is incompatible with my dvd player. Nothing a little pirated software I got called WinX DVD Ripper platinum didn't solve though. Yup, you got it -- I used pirated software to convert my Pirate Movie. The irony!

Not sure how many people actually know this movie but it's an 80's musical based on the Pirates of Penzance starring Christopher Atkins and Kristy McNichol. Kristy looks exactly as I remembered her. I wonder what she looks like now. Actually I don't care what she looks like now, I'd rather remember her when she was in her prime...the way I wish to be remembered when I'm gone. For those wondering what I looked like in my prime...I was 125 lbs soaking wet and looked awesome in a wrestling singlet. Not like these guys below. Actually completely opposite to these guys below.

Anyhow, what calms and eases your soul when you're stressed out? I'd love to hear. I'd also love to hear what your favourite cheesy 80's movies are.

2010-04-08T01:12:00.006-04:00

Forget the Rest
(Modest Mouse - Float On)

So it's been a crazy busy couple of weeks at work. I'm fully engaged on a very complicated, under budgeted and poorly scoped project and I'm supporting an overseas client that does not know the meaning of a 12 hour time difference. I also have an internal project I'm working on and prepping for a presentation I'm doing at our annual company user conference. But enough of the bitching and complaining...

Just a few random observations from the past few weeks...

Have you ever noticed that whenever you order chicken nuggets from McDonald's that there's always that one person that asks you if they could steal a nugget? Now let's forget the simple fact that guys do not typically share food. The only time they share food is with women they're trying to get to sleep with them and women they're deathly afraid of (but still want to sleep with them). Now I'd like to propose a simple rule that we should live by here and please remember this one well.

Thou shalt not ask a man for a chicken nugget if he has ordered a 6-pack lest you want to be punched in the face. The punching in the face part may be a bit harsh but have you ever tried to take food from a dog that's hungry? They will bite your finger right off. A 6-pack is about the exact size to satisfy a man's appetite. A 10-pack at times I feel is slightly overeating unless I'm starving. 5 nuggets would simply be one short of being full. You never want to just partially fill a man's stomach up. That's like a torturous game of "just the tip" in the bedroom. I don't think I can drive that analogy home any clearer. Sharing a 10-pack = ok. Sharing a 6-pack = punch in the face.

Second thing I noticed this week is that just like Seinfeld said, muffin-tops are really the best part of a muffin. I can't tell you how painful and anti-climactic it is to finish off the bottom of the muffin. I mean you have to peel the paper off and then it's all soft and crumbles in your hand. It's not ideal to eat at all. I mean the best part about the muffin-top is that it's crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside. It allows that nice contrast and makes half the mess the bottom of the muffin makes! Someone seriously needs to open up a Muffin-Tops Store near my place. They could sell muffins and low-riding jeans!

Third and final thing I thought about this week is how it used to be cool to wear messenger bags; satchels; manpurses. From what I remember it was definitely cool in university. Now when I wear a sidebag of any sort, unless it's for work, I feel completely out of sorts. Like I'm some sort of lost soul. Which brings me to my 2nd rule of the week.

Thou shalt not wear a messenger bag/satchel/manpurse unless work calliths upon thee. It is also appropriate to wear one on a long soul-searching journey like Kwai Chang Kain.

However, this is only appropriate if you cannot find a stick and a large tied up handkerchief for the journey like this guy.

It is definitely inappropriate to wear one out on a social event.

Not cool man. Not cool.

Lastly I'd like to mention that I'm still on the p90x wagon and so far I've lost about 2 lbs in about a week, though that could simply be because people have been stealing my nuggets. Hopefully by the end of this week I can gauge to see if I've actually made any improvements on my weight and fitness. Talk to you all soon.

2010-03-30T17:48:00.005-04:00

Shock and Awe
(Snow Patrol - Run)

In high school I used to joke around with my friends at the time that if my girl ever got to *insert arbitrary weight for given height here* lbs, that I'd have to put her on the "program". The program being any sort of workout/diet program that would put her below that acceptable threshold. Of course at the time I was 5'8" and 125 lbs soaking wet. It's easier to throw stones when you don't live in a glass house that's 10000 sq ft and has 100 rooms.

Fast forward 15 years later and I have crossed my own personal threshold (170 lbs) for obesity and I have started the dreaded "program". The program involves 6 days a week of intense workout and watching what I eat.

I'm not sure how I let myself go this far but there are a few hypotheses.

1) As you get older, you become less active and spend most of your day sitting at a desk job staring at a computer.

2) As you get older, your metabolism slows down.

and my personal favourite...

3) Relationship gut. When you are in a committed relationship you a) have less time to worry about personal fitness and hygiene. b) don't care about putting an effort into looking good anymore. or c) you spend more time at home cooking and eating with the significant other.

Have you ever noticed that the more committed the person is, the bigger the gut? I think there's a direct correlation here.

Sadly I think the reason I'm so fat is all of the above.

Keep checking into this blog people...I may post pictures of my humongous belly at some point!! Yes I'm awesome. And inspiring. Awespiring.

2010-03-24T20:38:00.003-04:00

I Mostly Have Red Pills
(Taio Cruz - Break Your Heart)

I've been catching up on tv shows lately. Here are the list of shows I've managed to watch in the last 4 weeks.

Dexter (season 4) - If you haven't seen this show yet...you're DEAD TO ME!! I mean seriously. This has got to be the best drama on TV, bar none.

Modern Family (season 1) - Some have said it's like Arrested Development meets the Office. It's a little more like the Office in the type of humour and the way they shoot it, but minus the annoying lead character (Michael Scott/Steve Carell).

How I Met Your Mother (seasons 1-4) - A little like Friends but with better characters. I mean characters that have a bit more depth. Neil Patrick Harris steals the show though. Talk about revitalizing your career.

Next up for me is True Blood (seasons 1-2). I've heard good things. Anyone a big fan of this show?

So I've told you about my transformation over the years from being an introvert to an extrovert. I've set out bit by bit each year to conquer my fears of human interaction. However, not all changes come without some sort of consequence/side effect. The side effect of my transformation is that although talking to people no longer makes me cringe, I sometimes make them cringe with the things that come out of my mouth. You see, when you've spent your entire life talking primarily with your "inner voice" and you attempt to vocalize that, you forget that the inner voice has no filter. So I have a hard time not saying the first thing that comes to my head. I'm trying though, really.

Now the other thing I haven't been adapting well to is that with regular human interaction, you have to deal with a lot of people who are very emotional. The filterless voice in me really wants to say moody emotion whores but let's sugarcoat this for those who can't swallow the red pill. People who are easily excited, saddened, angered, etc. Generally people who are not afraid to show how they feel.

I can't coexist with these types of people. At least not right now.

My flaw is that I lack a filter and can be insensitive at times. Their flaw is that they take everything people say literally and need to act out their emotions to make everyone else feel awkward. Sorry...filter on! Their flaw is that they can't hide their emotions and are easily hurt by what others say or do. It's like mixing gas and fire.

Now I'm obviously an evolving human being and I want to be able to handle emotional people a little better but these are the early stages of my evolution. If you can't handle a bit of brutal honesty with a lot of sarcasm, then you're DEAD TO ME!!...haha....jk. Seriously though, you always have a choice of whether you want to tolerate someone's behaviour but it's not always your choice whether they are going to change to accommodate your feelings or not.

So what's the next thing I'm going to try to conquer? I'm going to try to talk to random strangers more often. Just thinking about it gives me the heebeegeebees.

2010-03-18T11:33:00.002-04:00

Moon Child
(Limahl - Neverending Story)

A few classics were on tv on the weekend. Neverending Story and Princess Bride.

Bonus points to the first person who can tell me the name Bastian gave the princess to save Fantasia from the Nothing.

Would love to hear some thoughts about the symbolism in the "Nothing". I haven't really given it much thought but maybe the Nothing is symbolic of people's lack of faith. Not lack of faith in religion but rather just believing in something. Living with some sort of purpose.

Here's a cute picture I found...

Reminds me of my dog. He's getting a bit old these days. Turning 9 years old in May. He pulled one of the muscles in his hind legs the other day jumping into the car. Now he hobbles around my sister's place. It's funny cuz he's still got the same energy as when he was 1 but his body is completely failing him. A+ for effort though.

We can't be young forever but like my dog I'm holding on as long as I can.

2010-03-09T05:32:00.005-05:00

Momentum
(Sara Bareilles - Gravity)

So I've been travelling the last few weeks with a coworker of mine. She's a 27 year old girl who's lived her entire life as mommy and daddy's only child. As you know I have a penchant for being completely filterless (aka tactless), I told her that she lived a sheltered life and called her bubble girl. Now most of you would probably call me mean and I wouldn't blame you. Some of you though, might actually think that I'm trying to be helpful (would like to buy you guys a drink). In actuality it's probably a little of both.

It frustrates me to see people who can't see outside of their own little world. These are the people in arguments who can't see the value of another person's point of view. The people who are convinced that the way they live is the only way to live. These are also the same people who miss out on all the great opportunities life provides us.

If you are not running with your opportunities, then you are not running. Those who don't run quickly find themselves left behind.

It's hard to change, no one disputes that. Working towards change is something everyone struggles with. The attempt to change one's own momentum so that inertia acts in your favour is something I think everyone should be doing. To not even make the attempt is disheartening to me.

Inertia can be your friend or your foe, it really is up to you. If you are in a shitty place and you let inertia weigh you down, then you're giving into your own dispositions. If your relationship is broken, make changes, work on the relationship. If it ultimately does not work, be brave enough to walk away.

If you're in a great place and you're travelling a 100 miles an hour, lose yourself in the moment. Don't let life's worries and stress take it away from you.

As you get older inertia plays a bigger part in holding you back. When you've got a routine going it's really hard to change with all the intertwined responsibilities you've got. At work, at home -- it becomes something so hard to disturb and so difficult to break free of. So when you get the opportunity to change the everyday norm - suit up and gather some speed. Because you'll love the wind in your hair.

Take the opportunity to do something outside your normal routine/comfort zone. Get out. Have fun. Spring is in the air.

2010-02-09T01:50:00.001-05:00

My Life - A Work in Progress
(Dragonette - Pick Up The Phone)

It's been 10 years since I've graduated from university. Can’t help but look back at how awesome this decade has been for me. The two biggest changes in my life? – my career and my wife. I was pretty consumed in university of finding a) my calling; and b) my partner in crime.

Finding your calling is really a smaller subset of figuring out who you are. I used to think the sooner you found yourself, the quicker you'd be able to enjoy your life. So much of defining myself after university was based on figuring out what it was I was good at and how I would make that my career. I spent my entire post secondary education trying to live up to my parents dreams instead of figuring out my own. It wasn't easy but the moment I let go of the notion that I had to follow someone else’s footsteps, I quickly paved my own path. I went back to school, did a post grad in database management and here I am today with a successful career in software and one that even my parents are proud of. Parents want you to succeed and sometimes they think the only way for you to do so is to follow the path they've laid out for you. Well, I’m telling you that you can pave your own path and most of the time this is in line with what your parents want for you. If it isn't, at least you did it on your own terms.

Similarly finding your partner in crime is also reaffirming who you are. If you can find someone who you enjoy spending your time with, who can understand your worries and fears, who can share the things in life you find important, and can share in your dreams -- then you’ve got a great grasp of what are the components of your life that make you happy. That’s you in a nutshell. And all the painful iterations of loving and losing seem all worth it in the end.

It really has been an incredible decade for me.

I’m waiting for someone to interrupt me here and say, “Khiem, I’m happy for you and I’mma let you finish but my decade was the greatest decade of all time. OF ALL TIME!” Anyone?...anyone?...no…I didn’t think so.

2010-01-20T04:51:00.010-05:00

(The Stars - Undertow)

Haven't listened to the Sad Robots album by the Stars in awhile. Great album. The irony isn't lost on me because I know a thing or two about being a robot.

Speaking of robots...I wish this robot had some heavy artillery so I could use them to shoot my clients.

While here in Malaysia starting a new project with another client. An old client of mine emailed me this...

Hi,

We need to resolve the issue of transposing the result of “TST298734” - AccountPlan data into 12 columns at the earliest since the natives are getting restless.

We also need to close out the following with your help:
1) TST00073987 - UAT: Query Library Accruals Report Issues --- since this has been tracked for a while. I think the resolution is as easy as checking all components and making sure data comes up.
2) TST00064821 - Formal: ReportsTo Tree --- show how to add people to reports to tree as the Task generation does not add any new payee. Also you cannot create new rules under reports to tree.

Please advise a time that works for this discussion.
Thanks
Client

Now if you're wondering who the natives are -- they're Indians that live off the land AND work for my client.

So here's the typical responses that go back and forth between us...

"I'm not sure I have time to look at these items this week as I'm at a client site and I am 14 hrs ahead from you guys. When do you need these completed?"

"Oh we need this fix by yesterday...we need it urgently for the next release that's happening this week...when can you work on it? You're 14 hrs ahead of us?...then you should be available to do a quick meeting at 7 am your time/5 pm our time right?"

"Ughh...yeah I guess I can be available at 7 am my time for a quick meeting. I can't guarantee I'll have time to work on it this week but I'll see what I can do. If you need this urgently, I would suggest you contact _____ and he can help get a resource to work on this right away."

"Great...and we'll send out a recurring meeting every night at 10 pm your time or 8 am our time to get a status on the progress."

"Ughh...I'm not sure I'll always be available but sure."

"Well we'll schedule it and if you're not available, just let us know and we'll reschedule."

"Sure."

"Great!...Really appreciate your help on this!"

Now this is usually how I get roped into doing an extra 10-15 hrs of work each week at night after I get home from working at my existing client office. And after I complete the items, there's usually a few days silence before I get the next wave of requests the following week. Sometimes I'll if I'm lucky I won't get responses from them for months.

Then 3 months later we'll have this typical exchange...

"We need a fix on this test item because it needs to be completed for our next migration."

"Didn't I fix this 3 months ago?"

"Yes but we just tested it and didn't see any results in the report...it was blank."

"Did you test in DEV or TST?...cuz my fix was in DEV and I told you guys how to migrate it to TST the last time you had an urgent release."

"Ughh...we tested it in TST. Oh we see the results in DEV now. We must have forgot to migrate it last time."

"Wasn't it urgent that it made it into that release 3 months ago?"

"Yes...and it's even more urgent for this phase. Can you help us migrate it?"

This is why I need fricken lazers on my head. FML, I'm going to bed.

2010-01-18T10:49:00.004-05:00

Durian Durian - Hungry Like a Wolf
(Paramore - That's What You Get)

I love durian. It's an exotic fruit that smells pungent but has a buttery sweet taste to it. The great thing about Asia is that it's readily available almost anywhere and in many different forms. The bad thing is, even some Asian people can't stand the smell.

Today after lunch I bought some durian mochis and brought them into the client office. Within 2 minutes I had sent half the office scrambling around to find out where the smell was. When they saw me eating the mochis, they looked at me and started to laugh.

I didn't care though. I have no shame.

Since last week I've had the following durian products...

durian mochis, durian ice cream and durian cake...

I wonder if they sell durian body lotion. My skin gets really dry in the winter.

2010-01-18T07:00:00.007-05:00

Hello From Malaysia
(The XX - Intro)

So whenever I tell people I'm going to such and such, they're always like, "I'm so jealous!" or "I want your job!" I really have to remind people that work travel != vacation travel. The equation looks a little more like this work travel = working in a building that's located in another city. Sure you're a few steps from enjoying an exotic country but that's like working in an office with a great view of a sunny summer day you can't enjoy. It's one big cock tease. My job is basically learning to cope with blue balls.

Anyhow, I've been in Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) since last week for work. I also visited some friends in Singapore this past weekend. Haven't seen much while I've been in either countries but I have enjoyed the food and people here. Some of the things I've eaten...durian mochis, chilli crab, laksa (spicy soup), Singaporean chicken rice and bak kut teh (pork soup).

The general population for both countries is about average looking. The only reason I mention this is because I found Hong Kong surprisingly below average. It's almost like they banished all the ugly people to Hong Kong island. Wait...maybe that's why my work sent me there! Damn them! All kidding aside, after a few weeks in HK, I barely noticed this. When I got back to Toronto though, everyone looked like supermodels.

Back to KL and Singapore -- they love their shopping. There are a ton of huge malls here. All with very couture brands like Chanel, Burberry, Versace, etc. Prices are comparable to N. America with no significant discounts even with the great exchange rate.

So I hear the new George Clooney movie "Up In The Air" is a good representation of my last year of travel. I think I'll have to see this next week when I'm back in Toronto again. I should be grounded for the next few months. It'll be nice to get back to a normal local routine again.

Missing everyone in TO. See you all soon.

2009-12-30T14:09:00.002-05:00

Take a Moment and Breathe
(Barcelona - Please Don't Go)

It's been an interesting 2 months traveling Asia and I'm sorry I haven't written much in this time span. I will update you guys soon in the upcoming weeks of my amazing adventures. Til then, relax, breathe and enjoy this video and song.

2009-12-02T15:20:00.004-05:00

Yesterday Denial
(Owl City - The Saltwater Room)

I used to be in yesterday denial. Yesterday never happened. Today is great. Tomorrow will happen but I’m not sure if it's going to be great or not. I suppose it will probably be better than today, assuming that tomorrow I’m still in yesterday denial.

I have more than a few issues in my past that I totally regret. I know they say you shouldn't have regrets but I challenge you to name one person who's completely regret-free.

I think the reason I have so many regrets is because I've made so many regret-inducing decisions (RIDs). I guess a normal life in general involves a lot of RIDs and one of the goals is to gradually become wiser so that we can get rid of the RIDs in our lives ;) That or make enough good decisions to offset them. Either way I'm nowhere near as wise as I should be and I'm nowhere near regret-free. Though I have made good decisions recently. If all goes to plan somewhere down the road I'll be enjoying memories from the past instead of denying them.

I hope you're a part of those enjoyable memories.

2009-11-12T05:17:00.002-05:00

Shanghai Surprise
(Blonde Redhead - 23)

You never know what you'll find in foreign lands. I found this on Absolutely Fobulous.

Great conversation piece...as is evident from the following...

Khiem: I wish I found this before you guys got married...I would've got this for you as a wedding gift!

Friend: she's on travel but I suppose i can still use it for personal use
jeez...4-6 weeks delivery. patience is a virtue...how ironic

Khiem: well before you couldn't wait to lose your virginity...now you have to wait to get it back...sounds fair to me.

Friend: i don't actually understand what you're supposed to do with this thing

Khiem: I'd like to help you out there
but it's a bit graphic for this time of day

Friend: the thing looks like a rorshach ink tests or something
i think i see fallopian tubes

Khiem: you are really examining this thing aren't you?

Friend: i've saved it to my desktop
why do you ask?

Khiem: why stop there...this would be great on a christmas card
I couldn't look at it for more than 5 sec

Friend: hey, great idea. my wedding thank you cards are still on the 'to do' list

Khiem: awesome...nothing says thank you like a hymen

Friend: correction, nothing says thank you like a broken hymen
this is interesting. did you click the link the company site?
it says the package contains 2 x artificial hymen
obviously, we know why you would need 1
but the second one seems, i dunno, superfluous

Khiem: in these parts of the world...you might have 2 wives

Friend: we can split the costs..in?
$15, that's a fair price

Khiem: just becareful cutting the package in half...I want my hymen intact

Friend: damn, too bad you didn't find this thing earlier. we just missed halloween

Khiem: it's never too late for a costume party
you could go as a virgin magnet or a de-virginizer and just have a few of those sewn on your shirt

Friend: costume party? i was going to drop it in the kids' loot bag
that was too much. i don't feel good about that last joke

Khiem: the kids are much more mature these days
if you decide to get this...just make sure the wife is not using it when she goes horseback riding
I hear you can lose it that way
or riding a tractor

Friend: you are right:
Main causes of hymen tore or break:

* Strenuous exercise (Gymnastics, sports, martial art, horse riding, etc)
* Premarital Sex
* Childhood accident (Hard object)
* Wearing a tampon for the first tim
from the website

Khiem: you really thought I was making that up?
I'm not the boy that cried broken hymen

Friend: loved that story, can't wait for them to make the movie

Khiem: they're rating PG-13
like I said...kids are much more mature these days

Friend: the product description for this thing is fascinating
there are so many spelling mistakes
and the grammar...my goodness
my favourite line: The artificial hymen will melt inside the vagina so will not fall out

Khiem: at least it doesn't say "it melts in your mouth, not in your hands"

Friend: Hymen-M's

Khiem: Wow...we might be taking this too far...

Friend: That boat passed awhile back.

Khiem: The little man in the boat passed awhile back.

2009-11-03T15:39:00.004-05:00

Halloween Pictures
(Monster Mash)

So I'm up at 4 am in HK. Jet lag still hasn't subsided. Here are some picture from the Halloween party.

The rest of the picture can be seen here...

i am stanadian

2009-11-02T11:55:00.003-05:00

faster than we thought we'd go
(Smashing Pumpkins - 1979)

This song always reminds me of driving around the neighborhood during my teenage years with the window down, the music blasting and my head stuck out the window. That's the key to a great song. It captures a period in time and brings back waves of memories you would have never remembered on your own.

So I'm back in the Honger. I mean Hong Kong. Day 1 of 25. It's gonna be a long month for me. This will be the longest I've been away from my family and friends since the early 2000's when I moved to Virginia to live with uncle. Luckily Sonia is flying down to visit in 9 days. Something to look forward to. I do have some friends in the area as well so it'll be nice to catch up with them.

Saturday was the Halloween party and SD and I dressed up as Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon. I'll have to upload those pictures some time in the next week. Was a fun party but definitely felt rushed since I had to wake up the next morning and pack to leave. I really need to learn to cherish those times a little more. Live in the moment and not the future so much. I don't mind living in the past so much since reflection never hurt anyone. That is as long as you don't reflect and regret so much.

Sunday I got on the plane and bumped into Irene. She's here for work as well and she does this trip every other month she says. Is this the trend of our generation or is this just a trend within my circle of friends? It seems we're all jetsetting all over the world for work. I don't remember my parents ever traveling for work. Then again, they were never in technology/business. They were also married with children at a much younger age. My generation is all about career first, family second.

So if you're ever on a plane full of old Chinese people, try not to freak out at the really odd behaviour and poor manners. This one old guy kept leaning up and rubbing his groin against my shoulder as he got things out of the overhead compartments. He did this about 5 times during the flight and not once did he say "excuse me". There was also this lady in one of those face masks who kept getting up in the aisle near my seat and doing stretches for 10 minutes at a time. I'm sorry lady, it's not a pilates class. When we landed, I think I opened the door for at least 5 people at the airport and hotel and not a single thank you. Such a culture shock for me but I'm learning to deal with it one awkward moment at a time.

I just hit the 7/11 here to stock up on snacks and supplies. There's a 7/11 on every corner and they're very convenient. Especially convenient for a jetlagged North American who just woke up from a 5 hr nap in the evening. The terriyaki chicken with cucumbers and instant noodles definitely hit the spot. Now time to do some reading and back to sleep so I can be semi-conscious in front of the client tomorrow.

Good afternoon N. America.

2009-10-19T14:05:00.003-04:00

seems somebody turn out the lights...
(Lights - The Listening)

Update on the bathroom lights :

1) You have to put your room key in a slot at the front door.
2) You have to switch an unmarked switch...wait for it...DOWN. Cuz UP is what people do in the western hemisphere apparently.

Tomorrow I look for that bar of soap I lost in my nook...or cranny.

2009-10-18T20:39:00.001-04:00

I'm so scared right now.
(Aladdin - A Whole New World)

I'm on the other side of the world right now and want to curl in the fetal position and cry myself to sleep. I suppose it would help if I could cry.

Landed in Hong Kong about 2 hrs ago and just got checked into my hotel. Everything is so backwards here. People drive on the left hand side of the road. The taxi driver didn't speak English and couldn't figure out where my hotel was. He also nearly hit 2 cars on the ride to the hotel. When I got to the hotel they didn't have my reservation, couldn't get my visa card to be approved and then they ran out of king sized beds. After finally getting into my room and looking forward to a much needed shower (15 hrs on a hot airplane), I couldn't figure out how to turn on the lights in the washroom. I showered in the dark. First time ever. I hope I got all the soap out of those nooks and crannies. I feel like singing "a whole new world."

I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid.

I wanted to iron my work shirts for the week and couldn't find the iron or ironing board in the room anywhere. It's not standard with the rooms here. I asked them to bring one up and got them to turn the lights on in the washroom for me.

A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no, or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming

The plugs here are weird shaped. Luckily they provided me with a converter. The bathroom also has clear glass so you can watch people shower and poop. Kinky.

So now I'm almost settled in and getting ready to prep for tomorrow's day at the client site. I'll update a little later on this week...

2009-10-09T16:22:00.004-04:00

I am...
(Cranberries - Animal Instinct)

On my way to the airport to fly back to Toronto. It's been a long week and I've got a lot more travelling to do before the end of this year. Trying hard to teeter this work-life balance over to the life side but work is such an obese kid.

Did this search this morning for "I am" on google...the first two items on the auto complete were exactly how I felt. It's a sign from Go....ogle.

2009-10-08T01:52:00.005-04:00

Insomnia
(Electronic - Twisted Tenderness)

In the past I've dabbled in a bit of creative writing here and there but never really took it seriously. It was more an exercise to free my mind from living within the confines of perception and the world around us. Sometimes life lulls you to sleep and you need to wake up before you become a victim of the mundanity of it all.

Here's a short story I started about 6-7 years ago but never really completed. Ironically it was called "Insomnia" -- something I've never experienced in my life.

It's a bit rough so don't mind the grammar and spelling mistakes.

Insomnia

As I laid in my bed that night doing the one thing I hated most -- thinking; I realized how completely empty my bed was. I had that bed since my freshman year at university and I remember the day I bought it. I had desperately needed a new bed for my room after waking up on numerous occasions with backaches from my old mattress. The life of a student -- always pinching pennies, scrounging around for tuition money, yet always having enough money left over to go drinking. I decided to buy a futon, which would serve as a couch as well. Surprisingly I haven't used it much as a couch. Possibly a combination of my laziness and my lack of friends. Trust me, it depresses the hell out of me as well.

My bed has seen its share of visitors though. Some were girlfriends and lovers and some were merely friends who needed a place to crash after a night of drinking. On this particular night I wish I had their company. I quickly threw piles of clean laundry and old stuffed animals on my bed. Still felt empty. It's been awhile since I felt this way. Even though on most nights I slept on this bed alone, it still felt as though I was sleeping in a crowd. That's the comfort and feeling of companionship. Having someone there for you even though they're not physically there.

A while ago that feeling left me and I struggled with bouts of insomnia. I would lie in bed looking from dark corner to dark corner. In one corner, a bookshelf filled with books. Some were given to me by her. Books that we both read and shared. In another corner, a computer filled with letters we wrote to each other, conversations that seemed to never end and pictures that are gradually losing their significance. I wish I could just fall asleep at normal hours like everyone else. Instead I lay here, staring in the dark, letting my imagination run free and seeing subtitles in everything that passes by.

The first night of insomnia, I found solace in listening to music. Music has always comforted me. It's the feeling that someone out there understands what you're going through, and that you're not alone -- even if you are. It's also about self-loathing. There's something completely intoxicating and addictive about self-loathing. We're all masochistic beings. Maybe we need to see the contrast between sadness and happiness to really enjoy happiness when it comes. I don't know what it is, but it can sure be depressing. I swear to God.

And as the hours passed by, the music became more of a backdrop to my insomnia and I could start to see the glow of the sunrise behind my white Venetian blinds. When I could hear the shuffling of feet in the hallway as my family prepared to go to work or school, I would decide to finally fall asleep. I slept in hopes of waking up with selective amnesia -- forgetting the last 3 years of my life -- but it never happened. Just like that old movie with Bill Murray where he kept waking up on the same date everyday. I think it was Groundhog's Day. I always woke up remembering vividly the day before and yet I couldn't distinguish the day before from the current day. When you're up 21 hrs of the day, that tends to happen.

Every morning I'd wake up thinking about the very thing I didn't want to think about, along with all the poor decisions I made in my life. I've always had good intentions; they just never panned out the way I intended. Have you ever noticed that whenever someone talks about good intentions, it never ends up well? "Mom had good intentions. Too bad the cold medicine she gave the dog killed it." All my life I've been taking a headlong rush down the road to hell, stubbing my toe on every poorly paved intention in my life and I am just now coming to terms with it.

So I've lost track of how many days it's been now since the starting of my insomnia. But I know it's getting better. I think. My bed is still empty and my ex-girlfriend hasn't come running back to me yet, but the dark corners of my room are no longer laced with bad foreign film subtitles. They're just dark now.

Last night I caught myself talking. The sound of my voice scared me. I'm not sure if I was talking to myself but I had a phone to my ear. And the person on the other side seemed to care. They seemed to understand. They too had insomnia. The voice soothed me. The voice told me a story about a man named Fas, who sailed across the sea in search of a new world. He had imagined a world with bright beautiful hues. Where no one spoke yet knew how each other felt. Love there didn't need to be heard, it only needed to be felt. Time -- it seemed to move half a step slower. Fas never came back. No one ever heard from him again. Some say he found the new world and stayed there. Some say he died at sea chasing his foolish dreams. No one really knows for sure but you can always tell whether the storyteller was an optimist or a pessimist by the ending they chose for the story.

I'm not quite sure if I really talked to anyone that night but I didn't feel quite as lonely. I think I fell asleep before the sun rose that morning.

I'm slowly finding that one is sometimes more than two.

2009-10-02T00:33:00.009-04:00

Jetsetting
(The Fray - You Found Me)

Back in the cold winter of 1980, a young 4 year old Vietnamese boy arrived in cold, snowy Regina, Saskatchewan.

That was the last time I was in the eastern hemisphere. Growing up in a middle class family we never had much money to go on vacation. The furthest I was able to go was a 24 hr drive south to Dallas, TX. Ironically, I didn't step on a plane again after arriving in North America until my early 20's when I met a girl who was also living in TX.

Now while most of my friends are very "worldly" and have travelled all over, I've always kept my feet grounded wherever I called home. Mostly out of necessity. And it wasn't til the last few years that I've had a chance to expand my horizons with opportunities to travel for work, vacation and special occasions.

A few years ago I travelled to Hawaii for one of my best friends' wedding. I've been to California, Florida, Vancouver, Jamaica and Cuba for vacation. I've been to Arizona, Minneapolis, Massachusetts, New York and California for work. Next month I return back to the eastern hemisphere after 25+ years. I head to Johannesburg, South Africa for work in November and then shortly after that I head to Thailand for a 3 week belated honeymoon.

For most people, travelling to new countries and experiencing new cultures is exciting. For me, I find I'm somewhat indifferent to the experience. I don't know if it's just a matter of being so sheltered all my life or if I just don't have any legitimate interest in travelling.

So here are the top three things I like about travelling...

1) spending time with friends

The best part about spending time with your friends is that they make you forget about the things that stress you out. You can throw out your everyday inhibitions and fake work facades and be normal around them.

2) not worrying about time

How many times in a day do you look at your calendar to figure out where you have to be, who you have to see and what you have to be doing? Most of us live such a fast-paced, time oriented lifestyle that requires a lot of effort and organization to maintain. Whatever happened to just going with the flow and coming in with the breeze?

3) enjoying new physical activities

I'm an active person and I enjoy physical activities that are mentally stimulating. If I can't lie around and let time pass aimlessly, then I'd like to be involved in an activity that challenges me physically.

And the top three things I don't like about travelling...

1) planes

I have a fear of flying. Wait, actually I don't have a fear of flying. I have a fear of crashing and dying.

2) site seeing and touristy activities

I've lived in Toronto for almost 25 years and I haven't seen 90% of the tourist sites here. I can read about history and see pictures of architecture and monuments. I don't need to see it for myself just to say I was there. If the experience is just to say you've experienced it, then is the novelty really worth the effort? I'm not one of those people who needs to take pictures standing in front of old buildings and monuments.

However, what I find interesting about people taking these kinds of pictures is that they're capturing 2 different periods of history with one photo. The history of them travelling and the history of the building/monument they're standing in front of. Here's something interesting to do the next time you're travelling -- carve your name into the building or monument you're in front of and take a picture of it. Then show your children/grandchildren the picture. If they ever travel there when they get older, they can take pictures of your vandalism and capture 3 different generations of history.

3) rigid agendas

The reason you're on vacation is to get away from meetings and appointments. Don't set an agenda that requires you to run from site to site to get in everything you want to see. It quickly becomes a chore and your vacation turns out to be just another regular appointment in your calendar.

So right now I can't say I'm overwhelmed with excitement to travel to either S.Africa or Thailand because I haven't really planned out any activities that would interest me but I am however glad to have the opportunity to a) travel to the other side of the pond and b) share the experience with Sonia. Hopefully on these trips, I'll be struck with the proverbial travel bug and come back excited for the next trip.

2009-09-29T17:26:00.004-04:00

Well this just sucks...
(Lights - Drive My Soul)

2009-09-22T01:09:00.004-04:00

Wanted -- Life Coach
(Josh Groban - You're Still You)

Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm not a people person. I don't interact well with new people. I tend to hide in my shell and sometimes come off as too irreverent for my own good. I've even been accused of being stand-offish. However, I am also easily inspired by people who are smart/talented/unique/funny. People who make me forget how awkward I am simply because their personalities demand to be noticed. These are the people that make it easy for me to open up and share with them. These are the people that inspire me to do greater things with my life. If you're not born with inspiration like myself, you feed off of these types of people.

My company CEO once told me he spent 13 months trying to arrange a meeting with a famous advisor to Microsoft, Apple and the other Silicon Valley companies. The reason he did it was because he was looking for inspiration and advice from someone who obviously had more insight than he did. He said, "I am new at being a CEO and I need all the coaching I can find." How's that for humility?

Part of my growth as a human being largely depends on who I surround myself with and the people I extend my hand out to and ask for help. I need to reach out beyond my own social comfort zone and find inspiration in the people that have oodles of it.

So if you find an awkward little Asian guy stalking you, it's just because I'm impressed by your mojo and am looking to learn how to get my own -- not because I am a weird, little Asian stalker.

2009-09-15T00:39:00.005-04:00

Find Your Own Light
(Killers - This Is The World That We Live In)

On religion...

I don't want my kids learning about religion at an early age. I feel kids are far too impressionable at a young age and they need to pick a religion with their own free will. When we introduce it to them too early, they can't distinguish between what we want them to believe and what they have a choice in.

So what's the story about my own religious beliefs? I was raised a buddhist by my parents and grandma. I was baptized in a christian church that my family's sponsors went to. I was never pressured by either my relatives or our sponsors on what I should or shouldn't believe. As I got to university, I realized I needed to explore my spiritual beliefs a little more. So I took a few religion courses figuring that if I learned a little more, I could make an educated decision. What I found out was that my beliefs are not streamlined to one religion. My beliefs are just a patch work of multiple religions.

I think as long as this still leads me down the right path, I am ok with it. The right path though is defined by my own conscience and not anyone else's. I think the key to this is that I was raised well by my family and they instilled in me a good set of values.

So where does that leave religion? When should you have religion in your life? I don't think there's a real answer to this. I believe if religion adds value to your morals, then great. Or if you weren't brought up with a good foundation of morals and need religion as some guiding light, that's ok too. If you feel lonely in this vast universe without knowing that there's someone looking over you, then religion might be the answer.

What I don't believe is that religion is absolutely necessary for everyone and I don't believe you should just adopt the religion that's first presented to you. Educate yourself, understand your choices and then embrace it.

2009-09-14T00:35:00.001-04:00

You'll love my nuts.
(Notorious BIG - One More Chance)

A lot of interesting things happened on the weekend. Let's start with the garage sale. I had a joint garage sale with some friends on saturday and learned a couple of things.

1) Women value their junk more than men do. All the girls consistently priced their items significantly higher than the guys. I sold S' stereo for $5. I think the girls would've charged $15-20.

2) There isn't a price people won't negotiate. Someone tried negotiating 0.50 down to 0.15 on a glass picture frame.

Then that evening I went for a few drinks, dinner and then a comedy club. Sounds like a great date doesn't it? Too bad it was actually a coworker's bachelor party. Theme song for the party? --> I've had the time of my life. Worst bachelor party itinerary ever.

Been watching a lot of infomercials lately and I have to admit, I really want a slap chop. Best quotes from the host -- "You're going to love my nuts!" and "We're gonna make America skinnier one slap at a time." Somewhere a fat kid is getting five across the eye.

Has anyone received one of those chain mails lately where if you don't send it to x people, you'll die? I haven't seen one in ages. I'm thinking the last person who was suppose to send that on died. The chain had to end somewhere.

2009-09-11T00:06:00.004-04:00

Boys Don't Cry
(The Cure - Boys Don't Cry)

I think being vulnerable has a certain attractive quality to it but I can't seem to quantify exactly how much. The reason I ponder this is because I have a certain fear of showing vulnerability (how ironic is that?), which theoretically puts me at a disadvantage with my male peers when it comes to establishing a connection with the opposite sex.

A guy who is willing to show his vulnerability and open up to a women would likely be more approachable simply because he's easier to talk to. There may also be a empathy factor involved here. Women would be able to empathize with a vulnerable man. Now while that gives him an edge in approachability, I would argue that it doesn't give him an edge in attractiveness simply because if it did, natural selection over the generations would've made men more inclined to cry. Which I think we all agree that men are significantly 'dryer' than women.

So why would women not want a vulnerable crying guy? Women still want someone to take care of them (notice I didn't say 'need'). So here's my tip to you guys -- a little bit of vulnerability will get you in the door but once inside, don't use up all her tissues. She still needs you to be the man so she has a shoulder to cry on.

2009-09-09T23:52:00.000-04:00

I can clearly see your/you're nuts.
(UB40 - Red Red Wine)

The one thing I love most about growing up is that less people depend on you to fix their problems. People no longer look for a solution but rather someone who will sympathize with them. When I was younger I was always looking for a soulmate. Which in retrospect was probably synonymous with "therapist". Someone who would fix me or at the very least, make me forget about my flaws. After you turn 30, you're less concerned about fixing but rather learning to cope better. Here's a little word of advice -- not everything can be fixed and not everyone cares to be your savior.

2009-09-02T00:04:00.016-04:00

Just Dance...Gonna Be Ok.
(Oasis - Wonderwall)

I watched SYTYCD Canada tonight. I'm kinda addicted to SYTYCD. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I secretly want to be a dancer. Even though I dance like everyone's watching....pointing and laughing. Maybe it's the music and creativity. Either way, it's entertaining to me. However, after watching Canada's version of this show, I've come to realize a few things.

a) I hate Emmanuel Sandhu. I don't think it's homophobia. He's obnoxious and pretentious. Everyone hates people like that!

b) Canadians are way too nice. I don't think the judges had one mean thing to say to the dancers. Even though half of the routines made me puke in my mouth a little.

c) I think I could choreograph some pretty fantastic dance. In fact, I've come up with my own dance. Actually it's more of a hybrid of two existing dances. I call it krumptemporary. It's part krumping, part contemporary. Contemporary krumping if you will. It weaves in and out of hard hitting moves to soft, sensual spins and turns. It's where chaos meets order. If you see or here of this in the streets, you know where you heard it first.

More on crying.

The keys to not crying...

1) Never put all your emotional eggs in one basket. That way when you drop one, it's not the end of the world.
2) Never put your emotional eggs in a basket to begin with. In fact, hide your emotional eggs. If people can't find the eggs, people won't drop them and people won't ask stupid questions about whether or not the Easter Bunny is real.
3) Whenever possible, trade in your emotional eggs for the occasional emotional ketchup burst. That's where you've bottled up your emotions for so long that they just explode on some unsuspecting poor soul. Some people may argue that keeping all that emotion inside is unhealthy. I argue those people are a bunch of crying sissies.
4) When you see other people cry, make sure you point at them and ask them what that liquid substance is that's coming out of their eyes. The more ashamed you make people feel about crying, the more ashamed you'll be the next time you have the urge to cry.
5) If you have to cry, make sure you wipe with your sleeve or borrow a tissue from someone else. Never break out your own tissue. It makes it seem as though you cry often, which you don't. In fact, you never cry. It was something in your eye.

(I'm not sure why I decided to number this list as opposed to lettering like the above. I'm random.)

I'm blogging like the Khiem circa 2004/2005. I'm pretty excited. So excited I might be a little horny. Talk nerdy to me baby!

2009-09-01T01:10:00.002-04:00

Random Tidbits
(Neverending White Lights - The Grace)

I've lost 2 blackberries in the last 6 months. Both while wearing them on my belt clip and both while dancing at a club. So I've come up with a motto that will hopefully help keep me from losing my 3rd phone as well as help me keep my marriage going strong while I cruise the clubs.

Keep it in your pants!

Internet pickup line I came up with today.

"Hi, do you have a blog?...email me your url gurl!"

If she rejects you...you can always accuse her of being so Web 1.0. Oh snap! (I think I'm the only one that still says this. I am trapped in the 80's and I don't care.)

Speaking of 80's a friend of mine is having an 80's costume party in the next month. Do I go as a Miami Vice character or do I go dressed like an 80's rock band (e.g. Duran Duran)? So many good/bad costumes to choose from.

Wife pre-ordered Douglas Coupland's next book "Generation A" for me. Psyched! As you know, I'm a huge DC fan. What's your favourite DC quote?

Mine is probably a tie between...

"Destiny is what we work toward. The future doesn't exist yet. Fate is for losers." -- from Girlfriend in a Coma

or

"If you want to get close to somebody, you have to tell him or her something intimate about yourself. They'll tell you something intimate in return, and if you keep this going, maybe you'll end up in love." -- from Hey Nostradamus.

A few other good quotes...

"I'm trying to feel more well adjusted than I really am, which is, I guess, the human condition."

"I used to always think I had to have a reason to record my observations of the day, or even my emotions, but now I think simply being alive is more than enough reason."

I need to create a list of readable blogs to pass some of my idle time. Let me know if you're reading this and have your own blog I could return the favour.

2009-08-27T21:12:00.001-04:00

Warm Front
(Nas - If I Ruled the World)

Ever have one of those days where you just feel average? That nothing you do is particularly exceptional. That you're just hovering around the competency level for any given activity. I've been having those days a lot lately and I have to tell you, it's a real downer. I wish there was something that I could do that would make everyone ooh and ahh instead of the usual point and laugh.

So what do people do when they feel like this? Do they ride it out? Do they try and rise above the mediocrity by focusing on improvement?

When I feel like this I just want to sleep. Which is probably why I'm such a gifted sleeper. Yes! That's what I do better than anyone...sleep. Now sleeping isn't exactly something to boast about but I don't have much to work with.

Collection of worst made-up words by friends...."Leh."..."Romancy". Yes two is a collection.

Examples :

"What do you think about the new tax they introduced?"
"Leh."

"Did you see that couple having a picnic in the park?...how romancy!"

fob + romance = romancy.

Does anyone ever use the term "low hanging fruit"? I heard it for the first time during a meeting with my team. I nearly spit up my coffee. I have to say, as intuitive as it is to understand the meaning, it's also lends to some pretty great sexual innuendos. I love sexual innuendos. Especially when people aren't shoving it down my throat.

2009-08-20T23:48:00.013-04:00

TV movie of our lives...
(Metric - Waves)

Mom added me on facebook today. Wow. Awkward. I have to say though, there's nothing on my page that I'm ashamed of. Except maybe that one picture of me wearing women's high heels after a night of heavy drinking (Sarah you've got big feet!!). I'm not sure when I became such a lush but I don't think that's going to change anytime soon. The fact of the matter is this; I like drunk Khiem. Drunk Khiem is the fun Khiem. He's much more sociable and friendly. Two traits that I think are crucial for people to be successful in life. You can't live life alone and people are drawn to these types of personalities.

I think if you compared me ten years ago to now, you'll notice that I've gone from introvert to borderline extrovert. And ten years ago I was proud to be an introvert. I will admit that there are a lot of social situations that still make me feel awkward but for the most part, I'm very comfortable in my shell (and out of my shell) these days.

The wedding pictures are in and I have to say, they turned out better than I thought. Our photographers Dave and Charlotte must have stayed up day and night to photoshop these to make me look half presentable. Quite a memorable day. As painful as the prep was leading up to it, the actual day and all the great friends that came out for us made up for all of it, and then some.

http://daveandcharlotte.instaproofs.com/collection.php?event=146518

Tears. The running joke around town is that I've got none. That I'm a robot.

I don't see you crying you robot!

I've been working on my social skills for the past 30+ years and this is the next big thing I'm going to work on. One of these days I'm going to cry in front of one of you. And trust me...it will be awkward. Just don't do what I normally do and ask "what is that liquid coming out of your eyes?" I've been told that earns you a nasty look and a night on the couch.

Have you ever been so bitter about something/someone that you feel like you're one of those evil villains in superhero movies that have that big grudge against the superhero? That just won't let it go? That's me sometimes.

Remember when you dropped me in that vat of acid? Yeah, that's right...I haven't forgotten.

I hate that feeling. Why does your brain make you feel guilty for someone else hurting you? I suppose that's what makes us caring human beings...the need to forgive someone. I'm not sure if I'm ready to forgive yet but I'm maybe ready to move past the petty passive aggressiveness.

Wow...that's not me being happy to see you...that's me GROWING!

2009-08-18T10:11:00.002-04:00

I <3 you...sort of...maybe.
(Duffy - Mercy)

Word of advice...never reciprocate an "I <3 you." when you're not ready. Second word of advice...never go back and say "I didn't mean it." when you've already reciprocated.

2009-08-18T01:34:00.005-04:00

My Way Becomes So Clear
(Lights - Drive My Soul)

Strike a pose.

2009-08-13T18:41:00.003-04:00

Keytar
(Duran Duran - Rio)

Does anyone still play the keytar? It's probably the best combo instrument ever made.

Sitting at the airport trying to get connected. I feel weird if I'm not connected. I think they've done studies about how the internet is as addictive as a drug. Speaking of drugs...I've never done E. I'd like to do E one day and just sit around with a bunch of people listening to Samantha Fox sing "Touch Me". How surreal would that be? I wonder if anyone plays the keytar in her band.

2009-08-13T09:51:00.003-04:00

Thievery Corporation
(The Killers - Spaceman)

Last day in MN. Today I took from the hotel...

Shampoo, conditioner, bath gel, lotion, pen, pad...and wait for it...the tie hanger and 9 bars of soap. They left the storage room open so I grabbed me a handful. Sadly they didn't have slippers in my room this week.

--------------

Had a discussion with a friend a few days ago about how friendships aren't as static as everyone thinks it is. In fact they're very fluid and dynamic. As people go through phases of their lives they reset their priorities, their interests change. This in turn impacts their relationships with other people. You meet new friends, you lose old friends. My question to you is this...how much of an impact does history have on a friendship? Can you base a friendship purely on the history you've had with a person? I don't think you can but I'm open to hearing any arguments.

--------------

I'm convinced foreplay for snapping turtles has to be the definition of living dangerously.

2009-08-10T17:50:00.000-04:00

Fly Me To The Moon
(Growing Pains Theme Song)

So I'm sitting at the airport getting ready to fly out to beautiful Minneapolis, MN. If you're not familiar with Minneapolis, it's where fun goes to retire and die. I've been travelling to MN for the past 6 months for what might be one of the worst projects I've ever been on. Poorly managed, most unreasonable clients and the worst team ever assembled. Not to mention the location. But I'm not here to bitch and complain about work. I'm here to tell you how to keep busy on a shitty project.

One of the things I've been doing to keep myself entertained while on travel is seeing how much stuff I could take (steal) from the hotel before they start charging me.

The first week I started off with just soap, shampoo, conditioner.

By the 3rd week I was taking the following :

soap, shampoo, conditioner, hand lotion, bath gel, sewing kit, shoe polish kit, fuzzy slippers, embroidered laundry and shoe bags, qtips, pens, pads and of course fancy tea bags from the free lobby breakfast. I don't even drink tea!

After several months of this, I had so much stuff, I didn't know where to keep it in my condo. So I started making little care packages for my friends and family. The care package usually consisted of a laundry bag, a couple of slippers, a sewing kit, a shoe polish kit, shampoo, conditioner and lotion.

I've noticed lately however, my room is being stocked less and less with the goodies I've been taking. I haven't seen a sewing kit, the nice pens or a shoe polish kit in over a month. Maybe they're on to me.

Outside of entertaining myself, I always have the client entertaining me with absurd requests.

Just the other day the client asked me if they could re-brand our company software with their own logo. He sent me this as a sample.

At first I thought he was joking. Until he brought it up in one of our status meetings with a straight face.

Last I heard he was filming a rap video with him in a hot tub surrounded by naked women, fancy champagne and people throwing Benjamins around.

2009-08-06T23:39:00.003-04:00

Diamonds and Diapers
(Sufjan Stevens - Chicago)

I fell in love again, all things go, all things go

Two weeks removed from the "big day" and I can safely say that things have not changed much. I still leave my clothes lying on the floor of the closet. I still play brick breaker while laying bricks on the toilet. I still snore like a bear after a night of drinking with the boys. I suppose it helps to live with your wife before you get married. There are no surprises that way.

One of my married friends however warned me about how sex changes afterwards. Over a few drinks one night he commented on how after you get married, "it's no longer just sex...it's sex with a purpose". Of course mixing my poor hearing and some alcohol, I thought he was talking about kinky marine animal sex. Who said sex is boring after you get married?!

The thought of now having sex to procreate is a bit scary though. I don't think Sonia and I are at that stage right this moment but I must admit we're not too far away. *shivers* I barely have time to write this blog let alone raise a kid. I suppose when the time is right I'll make time and priorities will change. Less frequent Friday night drinking sessions and fewer weekend fishing trips...o noes. :(

So I guess until that "time", I'm going to enjoy being freshly married and childless. How much longer do I have? Who knows but the clock is definitely ticking.

2009-08-06T16:26:00.002-04:00

The Return?
(The Strokes - You Only Live Once)

So I went to an internet friend's wedding in Vancouver on the weekend. I've known her for over 10 years and we go waaaaay back to AA days (Asian Avenue...not the other one). She introduced me to a few of her friends with "Khiem, this is xxxxxx -- she's read your blog." Which got me thinking...wow...people actually read my drivel? So my ego has returned and I've decided that maybe I will come out of blogging retirement and write again. To be honest, I've gotten bored with twitter. Though I will admit, it made me be much more concise with my thoughts.

Blog --> I am sitting on my couch picking lint from my belly button while singing along with Kerri Hilson on tv. "I used to be commander and chief of my pimp ship flying high!"

Twitter --> couch, picking lint, belly button, pimp ship.

Anyhow...some thoughts on my recent marriage in the next few blogs.

As George Constanza would say..."I'm back baby!!...back!"

2009-05-18T13:37:00.004-04:00

Engagement Photo Preview
(Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Hysteric)

!EDIT 5/27/09!

Dave and Charlotte, our photographers, have blogged about our photographs and our bullfrog powered wedding :)

Dave and Charlotte

And if you want to see the complete album, you can find it here.

Cherry Blossoms in May

2009-05-14T01:11:00.003-04:00

Cuba
(Metric - Waves)

Some pictures from a fake engagement photo shoot we did with some friends in Cuba a couple of weeks ago...

Cuba Pics

Thanks Stan, Linda and Jojo for the pics.

We did our official engagement photos this past Friday with Dave and Charlotte in High Park under the cherry blossoms. Hopefully those pictures will be ready in the next little while so I can post them.

2009-01-14T01:04:00.008-05:00

Just Like Heaven

A pretty good cover of a great song.

2008-11-03T01:30:00.004-05:00

Wedding Blog
(The Stars - Favourite Book)

I'm contemplating a move of this blog onto another blog called tumblr. I've been on here forever and it'd be hard to move everything over but I am considering it b/c of the nice interface over on tumblr.

Sonia and I also started a wedding blog on that site. If you're bored, check it out. Not your typical blog. We won't gross you to death with the lovey-dovey stuff :)

Sonia-and-Khiem

It's going to be sad to see this blog go :( I'll let you know once I decide to move it permanently.

The Passive Aggressive Post

2008-10-17T02:15:00.003-04:00

Maladapted
(Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead)

A maladaptive behavior is a behavior or trait that is not adaptive — it is counterproductive to the individual. Maladaptivity is frequently used as an indicator of abnormality or mental dysfunction, since its assessment is relatively free from subjectivity. However, many behaviors considered moral can be apparently maladaptive, such as dissent or abstinence.

I sometimes marvel at how people with such an aptitude for logic, such as computer programmers, can be so poorly adjusted socially. I mean we all know that social interactions follow the basic principles of cause and effect. Similar to programming, you know that if you're testing a case, there are a number of possible outcomes and you would prepare your responses in accordance to these outcomes. So why is it that people are constantly baffled by certain human reactions? I've seen a lot of people whose intelligence completely dwarf my own (and I mean a lot of people!) and yet somehow, in the social world, I am so much more competent.

I think it has to do with exposure. I mean if you're not exposed to these reactions, and you haven't had any cause to create these types of responses, then surely you wouldn't be able to handle them at first encounter. But how is it possible that people go through their lives without experiencing these situations? Were they somehow too sheltered by their parents? Too focused on other traits that seemed far more desirable? And is there a certain prime age of learning these social skills? I mean similar to learning languages, is there somehow a diminishing learning/adaptive capacity as you get older?

I can't say I'm perfectly adapted or adaptive. I mean, ironically, I still do not know how to handle a crying woman. Though this is something I've witnessed and have been the cause of many times in my life.

These are things and questions that as I get older, I'd like to understand as to better prepare the kids I might have in the future.

2008-10-03T02:14:00.002-04:00

Seriously...is this woman going to answer a damn question for once?

2008-09-26T16:57:00.002-04:00

Best. Catch. Ever.
(Anyone Else But You - Moldy Peaches)

This is by far the best catch I've ever seen. I defy anyone to show me something better!

2008-09-18T00:30:00.004-04:00

Genetic Gene Found in Women for Wedding Planning
(Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's)

So I went to the bridal show the other week and I'll tell you this much; I've never seen so many happy women and at the same time so many miserable men in one room in my entire life. To top that all off, I felt like bait in a shark tank during their feeding frenzy. Oh god, I would never wish this sort of punishment on anyone. Forget prison and the death penalty, I think we should send all of our inmates to bridal shows.

That being said, I suppose we got some deals on clothing, make-up (I'm going to look so friggin hawt in eyeliner) and got some ideas for our wedding.

A few details we've got out of the way so far...

Date : July 25, 2009
Venue : Grand Baccus
Photographers : Dave Biesse and Charlotte Leonard (check them out, they're fantastic)
Cost to offset the energy consumption used during our wedding : ~$135 to put green energy back into the grid.
Groomsmen : 4
Bridesmaids : 4
Ring Bearers : 1-2

And now I wait the next wave of pain from this thing called "wedding planning".

2008-09-07T00:59:00.004-04:00

Fantasy Season
(Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole)

This is the best commercial ever...

NFL.com Fantasy Rule #32 - There's no excuse for absence.

"You will take what we give you!"

2008-09-04T17:20:00.003-04:00

For those who care about the environment and doing every little thing possible to help make a difference...

Challenge Me Green

For those who don't...

I heart GWB

2008-08-30T02:12:00.003-04:00

Buried Treasure
(February Air - Lights)

If you know me, you know I like to rummage through racks of used cd's, old movies and bargain bins. It's not because I like to find a deal. It's because I like the feeling of finding buried treasure.

One of the best feelings in the world is finding something special in the mediocre.

2008-08-22T23:54:00.003-04:00

Dating
(Drive My Soul - Lights)

Recently I've been helping a friend with his love life by creating an online dating profile on one of those free dating sites. I guess when it comes to online personas, mine is maybe a little more charismatic than his. So in the three or four days that I've been on the site I've created more leads with women than he's created in three months on the same site previously before giving up. So I gave him probably one of the most important tips for attracting the opposite sex.

And I'm no expert on dating or anything but I think I understand the human condition. Every human being whether that's a 32 year old woman or an 18 year old guy wants and needs inspiration. When people see others with a passion, a gift, or a talent, they feel like they can feed off of it. Somehow living vicariously off of it.

So how do you translate that into a successful online dating profile? Create something that inspires people. Write something that provokes deeper thought. Write something that someone else could relate to but never had the ability to put into words. This is the starting point for a conversation that's bound to happen as people look to you to inspire that next provocative thought.

Once you've established first contact my rule of thumb is this. You need to end every exhange with at least a question that creates an opening for people to open up to you. People naturally want to share intimate details with others to generate empathy. Everyone needs to feel like they aren't alone in whatever battles they might be fighting. You in return also need to share an intimate detail. Show some vulnerability but don't come off as some sort of pity case. No one wants to carry your baggage. They just need to know that you are also an imperfect human striving to find something better.

Hopefully after sharing intimate details back and forth you'll create a bond based on understanding and can inspire each other to something better. Maybe a happy existence.
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

2008-08-20T18:28:00.004-04:00

Heinous Villain
(Bohemia - Mae Moore)

So my friends and I have started giving each other supervillain/superhero names based upon our perceived "super powers". For example, I call my friend Stan Professor Moist because he sweats profusely when we do anything remotely active. His power is simply making things wet or slightly damp. I call my friend Garry Dr. Impulsive because he buys things on a whim (e.g. expensive kitchen cabinets, electronic devices, engagement rings). His power is singlehandedly keeping the economy steady with his unrelenting purchasing power. I call Sonia Ms. Green because of her penchant for saving the Earth one kilojoule and one recycled paper at a time.

My supervillain name happens to be Mr. Passive Aggressive or Mr. PA for short. My superpower involves not dealing with my problems directly but instead funneling off that anger in my everyday interactions with people. For example, letting air out of the tire of the HR lady's tire because of her pissy attitude towards me. Or shitting on her windshield, then breaking into her car and turning on the wipers.

As an evil genius and supervillain one of the things I came up with was the acronym "jkso". I often use it when I'm making a joke about someone that I secretly hate. Like, "Can you get any sluttier?...haha...jkso". Which basically translates to, "Can you get any sluttier?...haha...just kidding, sort of...bitch." It's my thinly veiled passive aggressive joke.

What's your superpower?

2008-08-14T18:54:00.001-04:00

Save the date! July 25th is when I join club ball and chain!
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

2008-08-07T16:40:00.003-04:00

Ms. Green
(Hoppipolla - Sigur Ros)

So my face has started peeling very badly. I guess this is what happens when you are in the sun for 15 hrs without sunscreen. I wish I had kids, because this is something that I could show them for a fast lesson on why you need sunscreen.

Speaking of thinning ozone...elections are coming up soon for both Americans and Canadians. I hope everyone is thinking green in this upcoming year. I think it's an issue we can't ignore much longer. I am no saint when it comes to doing things for the environment but I think collectively, if we make it more of a priority, we can get some great stuff done.

Ms. Green (Sonia's superhero name...my supervillain name is Mr.PA aka the Passive Aggressive One) has already started planning our green wedding. No stretch SUV limos for you! I've already suggested using used toilet paper for our wedding invitations but so far the jury is out on that decision. Visiting our first venue tonight. I can't express to you how excited I am (my other supervillain name should probably be Sarcasmo). So much to do, so little time...

2008-07-31T22:36:00.000-04:00

Coldplay last night!

Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

2008-07-31T22:25:00.001-04:00

Mobile blogging! What will they think of next!

Maybe mobile mini-blogging!!! http://www.twitter.com/shaky_jake
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

2008-07-29T00:06:00.002-04:00

Ball and Chain
(DJ Sammy - Heaven (Candlelight Remix))

So back in 2004, I wrote a blog about nothing ever going as planned and that getting married was one of those things. That I hoped to one day wake up and be married. I guess the day has come and I've started to build my ball and chain. I am officially engaged as of this past weekend. Now for the fun of planning a wedding! I'm planning on hibernating for the rest of the year, hoping to wake up next fall in time for this glorious event.

2008-07-20T21:56:00.002-04:00

Random Pieces of Media
(Maxwell - This Woman's Work)

Found this cool site that allows you to do post your own mixed tape...check it out!

www.shaky.muxtape.com

If you're a fan of Joss Whedon and his work in Buffy, Angel, Firefly and Serenity Now...or a fan of Neil Patrick Harris...check this link out.

dr.horrible

I just reserved my copy of Dexter season 2 on dvd from Amazon.com! Can't wait til season 3 starts this season!! If you haven't watched this show, watch it. Dexter mesmerizes!

2008-06-17T17:36:00.003-04:00

On My Way to Phoenix
(Sufjan Stevens - Chicago)

In university I knew this girl who told me she loved the taste of cum. She also said that if she could, she'd collect it in a jar and dip her fries in them. After I puked a little in my mouth, I had a good laugh about it. And no, I did not date her.

I wonder if this is how they came up with the saying, "The juice is worth the squeeze."

2008-06-10T00:36:00.004-04:00

Nothing's Going to Change My World
(Fiona Apple - Across the Universe)

So my company has asked me if I'd be interested in going to the UK for an extended period of time to help setup our new office there and to train some of our partners and presales team. I've told them that I would be willing to do it for a short time but I did not want to stay more than 6 months. Though nothing is concrete yet, the opportunity to travel reminds me of a decision I made just after university. I had a job offer to go to Japan to teach English for a year and I had turned it down. At the time I felt like I was behind in my career aspirations and a one year expedition was only going to delay it even further. So I decided to stay in Toronto and to work on starting my career. It turns out I didn't have much opportunity to do much that year in Toronto and I decided to go back to school the following year to do a post graduate. In retrospect, it was a missed opportunity to travel and see a culture outside of my own.

This time around, my career seems somewhat dependent on me going overseas and yet I am still hesitant in going. I think I finally realized why. While some people may say that it's merely a fear of being in a foreign land alone or being outside the comfort zone of my own environment, I think it's neither. I think it has more to do with the fact that home will always be where my heart is. And when I say home, I really mean being close to the people I love; whether that's family or friends. I can't imagine enjoying anything that doesn't involve my family or friends.

So on the one hand, I am missing out on opportunities to travel the world and experience new cultures. On the other hand, I am spending some of the most important times in my life close to the people who have shaped and defined who I am. It's a fair trade-off isn't it?

This isn't to say that I will turn down the opportunity to go to the UK outright or even that I will get the opportunity to turn it down. It merely affirms to me that my reasons for possibly not going, are not out of fear. That my heart tells me to stay.

Am I the only one that finds it hard to drift across the universe in pursuit of adventure without my friends and family?

2008-05-12T01:11:00.002-04:00

Barrel of Monkeys
(Filter - Take My Picture)

Here's my Jamaica vacation a few weeks ago. I think I'm addicted to making these slideshows. It's like making your own music video.

2008-05-07T12:12:00.003-04:00

Back Away From the Ledge Buddy
(Saul Williams - List of Demands)

Last night I passed out around 10pm after attempting to do my taxes. Let's just say that tax season is not fun for anyone. I was intending on a short 2 hr nap after which I would wake up to do some prep work for a meeting I had at 9am. Unfortunately I did not wake up until 6am this morning. After frantically working til 8am, I left for work and on my way to work I saw this goose. I couldn't help but think how much I'd rather be where he was than where I was going.

Is my attempt to depress you working?...cuz it's working on me!... jkso (just kidding, sort of)

2008-04-30T00:49:00.002-04:00

Fracture
(Bob Marley - Turn Your Lights Down Low)

So I'm back from Jamaica. I haven't had a chance to gather the pictures and put together any fancy slideshows yet but I will tell you that I did have a good time, for the most part. I did have a sad moment on the last day of the trip that sort of bummed me out. While the gang went to the beach for the last time to frolic in the water, I decided to lay under the big Jamaican apple tree and read in the hammock. While reading Coupland's latest book The Gum Thief, I came across a passage where one of the main characters expressed his belief that at a certain age, people no longer wanted to be themselves. They wanted to escape and be anyone else but themselves. It's a common daydream of a lot of people; myself included. But this topic just reminded me of how lately I've felt like I've lost touch with a lot of my close friends. That somehow, the person that I am, or have become, isn't in line with the people they've become.

As we get older, it seems to me that the large diverse group of friends start to fracture into smaller collectives. Each collective having a solid base of commonalities. Whether they've recently started a family and share experiences in raising newly born kids, are going through new home ownership and renovation projects, or if they're still single and fighting off the waves of peer pressure to settle down -- there is some sort of common ground. As I look at some of these collectives, I can't say I feel like I fit in anywhere.

It's a lonely feeling.

I feel like I'm constantly trying to keep these friendships alive. Trying to keep the larger diverse group from diverging. As a larger group, I can relate to everyone. As more succinct entities, I seem out of place.

The irony is, the more I think about it, the more apparent it becomes that my constant need to organize group events for my friends is to stave off my own insecurities of slowly fading away from these peoples lives. And yet in the end, this group trip to Jamaica did nothing but remind me of this.

I sometimes wonder if I stopped caring, if all the friendships I've worked to maintain over the years would just wither up and fade away.

2008-04-15T17:41:00.003-04:00

Blind Date
(Feist - My Moon My Man)

Mundane thought of the day...

If you're an ugly guy with no money, you should find out where all the hot blind chics hang out.

So I started googling for "places blind people hang out". This was one of the links that was returned...

Blind Golf

I've seen people hit with golf balls on regular sighted courses. What do you think the chances of getting hit on this course are? And what are you suppose to do when someone yells FORRRE? Roll up into a little ball and pray for the best? This is just a recipe for disaster.

That being said, I bet you'd find some really hot chics here.

Yes I'm going to hell.

2008-04-11T16:23:00.002-04:00

I'm feeling fine!
(Maroon 5 - Won't Go Home Without You)

I started walking to work recently. My company office moved closer to my condo and the walk is about 1.6 km each way. I have always hated walking. Walking anywhere seems slow and tedious. I can’t seem to get over the fact that I’m wasting minutes of my life just getting from point A to point B. I think that says a little about my personality in general. I don’t typically stop to smell the roses on any journey. My journey is all about getting to the destination. I realize this has to be a shortcoming of mine or at the very least a failure in my upbringing. Yes, I blame my parents.

I’m looking to change though. I think these extended walks have at least given me some quiet time to contemplate/plot revenge on the world. I find with the daily rigors of life, there isn’t much time to do that. Which by default means that the people who are actually plotting in the world, don’t have lives.

I still don’t really stop to smell the roses. There aren’t many roses on the way to work, both figuratively and literally, just a lot of litter, traffic and smog. I wish people would stop chucking garbage out their car window. Biggest. Pet Peeve. Ever. Just do what I do, chuck it under the seat in your car and wait for the smell to remind you later to throw it out.

All that aside, I’m feeling good about this small change I’ve made in my life. Watch out world, there are more changes to come!

2008-04-10T14:58:00.003-04:00

I've got the vacation Jones
(DCFC - Movie Script Ending)

I just made this video yesterday...but I've watched it about 10 times already. It just brings a smile to my face remembering the good times.

These are clips from a friend's wedding in Hawaii last year.

I'm headed to Jamaica in 2 weeks with some friends...hopefully we can create some memorable moments like these.

2008-04-07T00:22:00.003-04:00

Don't Call It a Comeback
(Jonathan Coulton - Re: Your Brains)

Hello World!

Don't call this a comeback because I'm not sure how long I can keep this up but the gf asked me to revive this blog because she feels like it's some sort of a healthy medium for me to release some of my passive aggression and pent up anger. She also thinks that it shows a softer, deeper side of me that I don't typically show to people.

The question though is, do people in their early 30's really care to meet new people? I'm finding that the older we get, the more we shy away from introducing new people to our close circle of friends. The only exception being new significant others. Which leads me to a new rule I recently came up with for some of the guys in my group.

When you're actively pursuing a girl, you can introduce them to the group but please do not make a habit of bringing them out with the group until you've sealed the deal. Why you ask? Well if the girl becomes a regular at the social events and somehow, you fail in your pursuit, it makes things less awkward when we start avoiding her and not including her in our social festivities.

---

So I just got back from a weekend in Montreal for a friend's bachelor party. Without giving any names of the friends or posting pictures of the events, I think I can go into a little bit of the weekend without incriminating anyone in particular. Besides, who reads this blog anyhow?

So here are a few things I observed from this trip...

1) Strippers are apparently more conscious these days about being sanitary. They actually use hand sanitizer before giving lap dances. The question I have is, what about the rest of their body?

2) When you're drunk, your first instincts are probably a bit off. For example, when a stripper is rubbing clear liquid on her hands, it's probably not lubricant.

3) Paris Hilton has a surprisingly large fan base of teenage girls. What exactly are they looking up to? Is it her credible singing career? Is it her credible work on camera? Someone explain this to me.

4) Driving around Montreal with your window down and blaring old 80's tunes is surprisingly fun.

---

If you're my age, you probably missed most of the crazy internet lingo kids have been creating these days. But if you're interested in keeping up with what's hip and happening online, you can definitely catch up with these websites.

www.lolcats.com
www.lolcode.com

I try to learn one or two new things every week and then completely abuse it with all my friends and coworkers.

Like Rickrolling. I learned about this 2 weeks ago and turned into a Rickrolling machine!

If you're unfamiliar, the art of Rickrolling involves posting a misleading link with a subject that promises to be exciting or interesting, e.g. "World of Starcraft in-game footage!" or "Paris Hilton naked again!" but actually turns out to be the video for Rick Astley's debut single, "Never Gonna Give You Up".

Paris Hilton naked again!

My favourite part is at 2:07 when the black guy jumps on the fence. That's a dance move that only the 80's could invent.

In addition to Rickrolling, I've also added a few new internet words to my vocabulary.

PWN (verb)

An act of dominating an opponent.
e.g. "Oh snap, you got pwned!!" or "I totally pwn your ass in scrabble!"

FTW
"For The Win."

An enthusiastic emphasis to the end of a comment, message, or post. Sometimes genuine, but often sarcastic. Originated from the game show Hollywood Squares where the result of the player's response is expected to win the game.
e.g. "Jabbawockeez FTW!!!" or "Egg McMuffins FTW!!!"

r0x0r

Rocks, very good. Used in place of "that guy rocks".
e.g. "omg he r0x0r!!"

and similarily...

suX0r

Describes something that sucks.
e.g. "this blog srsly sux0r."

And with that...I'm going to bed!

2007-09-27T23:18:00.000-04:00

KLB Raspberry Wheat Beer
(Ingrid Michaelson - The Way I Am)

It's 11 pm, the gf is asleep and here I am in my PJ's with a beer in hand and ready to do some work. Freedom never tasted so sweet...or maybe that's just the beer talking.

2007-09-19T01:06:00.001-04:00

Life In The Fast Lane
(The Stars - Personal)

So I've moved into the new condo with the girlfriend and it's been quite the change. I don't even know where to start. I guess the biggest change for me is slowly figuring out what is acceptable normal behaviour in her presence. I mean is it ok for me to leave the toilet seat up? Fart loudly while watching the football game? Leave my dirty clothes lying on the bedroom floor?

It's not only in regards to general annoying habits but also has to do with how much of "myself" do I now reveal? We've dated for 4+ years now and by no means was I pretending to be anyone else for all of that time (maybe just the first month during the chase :P), but now that we see each other 7 days a week, is anything going to surprise her? I guess that's the real test. One month in and I think so far I'm passing. I could be wrong.

We haven't had too many disagreements and we've been able to compromise on most things. I'm getting used to being clean around the condo and not leaving dirty dishes in the sink too long. It's not too tough when you live near your friends and you have guests over at least once a week.

Budgeting is a new concept to me now. I've never had to worry about 1/3 of my income going to a mortgage and utility bills. So far I think I've dealt with that pretty well. I don't eat out as much as I used to, especially at lunch. I don't go on frivolous spending sprees anymore. I now understand that being budget conscious doesn't mean I'm cheap.

Working 40-50 hours a week and coming home to make dinner is tougher than it looks and I don't think I've ever given my parents enough credit. I don't even have any kids to worry about at this point either. I don't know if I've found my calling yet in terms of a career but I know that work is challenging for me at this point. At times it's overwhelming but I take it in stride.

I've gotten back into playing tennis a lot more lately and trying hard to keep up with it. Balancing it with my other sports, work and my new condo life has been a nice exercise in time management and the increase in activity is keeping me from putting on 40 lbs and auditioning for the Biggest Loser reality show. I think my next step is starting to eat healthier. That's going to take some time.

Everything is moving so fast...my head is spinning...I hope I don't get sick of this ride and puke.

Talk to you next time I can find 15 min of time from my life to document it.

2007-05-13T00:24:00.000-04:00

Growing Up Is a Bitch
(Peter, Bjorn & Paul - Young Folks)

Last week I bought a condo with my trusty sidekick. I'll tell you now, there hasn't been a moment in my life up to this point that has been bigger. Yet, if you were to take a closer look, I haven't flinched. Odd. I've been scared to grow up all my life. I don't know what's different about this moment but I just know that I'm ready. Hello independence, goodbye cold feet.

So call this Shaky's world wind tour before he truly becomes an adult. Feel free to stop in and say hi at any one of these events.

May 19-22 - Kissimmee/Orlando, FL
May 25 - Feist concert at Massey Hall in Toronto
June 22-25 - Camp trip to Killbear Provincial Park (24 confirmed, 11 spots left)
Aug 3-6 - Cottage trip to Springwood
Sept 9 - Virgin Festival Toronto (Smashing Pumpkins, The Killers, Metric, The Hives, Tokyo Police Club, Peter Bjorn and John)

Add to that a few long weekends at the beach and you've got the makings of a great summer. I officially declare this the summer of Khiem.

2007-05-07T17:58:00.000-04:00

Brand New Colony
(Feist 1-2-3-4)

I am now part of the mortgage debt community. Life is moving so fast. Sorry I've neglected you Mr. Blog. I will be back soon...maybe. Til then, so long and thanks for all the fish.

2006-12-18T03:45:00.000-05:00

I can't get this song out of my head. I've been listening to it for the past 3 weeks. Stars rock!

(Stars - Elevator Love Letter)

2006-12-09T16:05:00.000-05:00

I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.
(The Fray - How To Save a Life)

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

...
Highlights from week 1 at the new job...

- It doesn't matter where I am, if I'm sitting idle in a moving vehicle, my super powers of sleep start to kick in. If someone is driving and I am the passenger, my eyes will be shut by the time the car is moving. During my commute this week, I overslept my subway stop twice. On Monday, I overslept by about 4 stops. Luckily I planned to get to work 30 minutes early to make a good impression. As it turns out, I got to work 5 minutes early. On Friday, I overslept my commute by about 8 stops. When I had woken up, the subway car was completely empty and the next stop read "Greenwood". I've lived in the Toronto area for the past 20 years and I've never even heard of Greenwood. I hope Santa gives me an alarm clock for Christmas so I can use it for my commute.

- I work in a sausage factory. Of the 30 or so employees at my new company, there are exactly 2 women. One is the company controller and the other one is the vp of marketing.

- I've decided that this 1.5 hr commute to work is good for me. I need to get more exercise. If my tummy gets any bigger, I might not be able to see my penis in the shower. Which makes it hard to wash. No one wants a dirty penis.

- The good thing about working for a company that has so many male workers is that the company Christmas party is at the Toronto Raptors basketball game. That would only fly with the coolest of women.

- There is no dress code at my office. The CEO walks around in jeans, sneakers and a t-shirt.

- The management group are all under 40 years old. My boss is 2 years younger than me.

- Here's something to scare you. For the 10 new business consultants they just hired including me, they had to interview 100 people. 9 out of 10 failed the technical interview. Which means that 9 out of 10 people are dumber than me.

2006-12-03T22:02:00.000-05:00

I'm so hard for the rich girl...
(Stars - Elevator Love Letter)

Her heels are high and my hope's so low
'cause I don't know how to love

...
So I read somewhere that you can tell a lot about a person through their handshake. I don't know exactly what you could tell or how you would tell it but I think it'd be a great leap over the communication gap of our society. You could bypass all the small talk you do when you first meet someone through a simple handshake. Determine instantly if that person would even be worth conversing with or whether it'd be a waste of your breath. I think too much of our time is wasted on figuring people out and trying to understand them. Let me rephrase that. I think too many people waste our time by hiding behind personality curtains because their real personalities scare people away. People like this should be looking for help. Seeking out some personality therapy. Do personality therapists even exists? I think I'd be the first one in the line to see the personalapist.

I'm rambling.

So the big news in my world lately is that I resigned from my old job 2 weeks ago. About 4-5 months back, I had told my new boss that I needed them to hire some help to offload some of the IT functions that they had me doing that wasn't related to my career objectives. It's not that I was too important or too cool to do them, they were just taking up too much of my time and I was losing focus on my own personal development within the company. My boss replied that we didn't have the budget to add another head in my department and that they would revisit the issue in 2007. A few months later, they hired 2 new executive assistants. One executive assistant for my boss and one for the general manager. After a few other annoying incidents, I came to the conclusion that the new management team there was full of shit, so I got a new job. It's a new adventure for me. I'll be working in the heart of downtown Toronto for the first time. I'll be one of those people sleeping on the subway in the mornings; sliding in and out of the crowds on the street as I make my morning commute. Being a suburbs boy, I'm not sure if I'm ready for this but it was definitely time for a change, a welcomed change.

Watch out big city, here I come.

2006-11-05T20:42:00.000-05:00

Offside
(Anything Box - Carmen)

As a kid, I grew up loving comics. My favourites were X-Men, X-Factor, Spiderman and Wolverine. I used to spend my lunches at the comic store, buying the latest comics for $1.50. In fact, I still have some of those comics lying around my room. They're still in good condition as I kept them in plastic covers with cardboard backs.

I remember reading the comics carefully, making sure not to crease any pages. Occasionally I would try and draw some of the characters in the comics and pretend I was Stan Lee, Todd McFarlane or Rob Liefeld. To be honest though, I was more like Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the South Park artists.

I eventually grew out of the comic collecting fad but I still love comics. I don't think that will ever change.

As you know, I've been working with a few friends on a fantasy sports website (www.fantasymoneyball.com) over the past year. It's been a pretty tough and busy year but we've been doing things that we enjoy. We finally launched our website back in September and we've been continuing to improve the site by fixing bugs and adding more content to it.

About a month ago Spooner and I came up with an idea of adding a comic to our site similar to the one you see on Penny Arcade. As luck would have it, Sonia's sister's bf, Garvey, was an animator and sports fan. We asked him to join our team and we started writing out some cartoon scripts that were sports related. Here are the fruits of our loins...err...labour.

Offside

Who would've thought that one day I'd have a hand in producing a comic?

So far we've been really happy with the work. As with most comics, there's going to be a period of growth as Garvey starts to understand the personalities of our characters and our humour.

As for the content, we've had a bit of butting of heads with some of our group in terms of what they think our audience wants to see. We've stayed on the PC/conservative side to appease everyone but look for us to push the envelope a little and get edgier with our material. After all, we're not PC and I would think that we are a prime example of our own target audience.

If you've got some time, take a look at the comic and let me know what you think. I'd loved to hear some input.

2006-11-05T20:01:00.000-05:00

Seniorita and the Care Bear stare.

Medusa looking for a little fried chicken lovin.

Ignore the whoopee, Scott actually wanted to go as a giant foreskin.

Jo-jo and Sarah stopping by the party after their work shift on Jarvis & Church.

The rest of the pictures can be seen here...

http://flickr.com/photos/28362622@N00/sets/72157594362895854/

2006-10-18T14:28:00.000-04:00

Blondes Have All the Fun
(The Killers - When We Were Young)

Ok...haven't posted awhile because I've been doing too much work on my FMB project but I ran across this website today and it was too good not to pass on.

Keiko

This is about the only time in my life I've ever wanted to be wh...European.

...

FMB is looking for some content writers. We're looking for funny, sports enthusiasts who like to express their opinions! If this is you, please contact me. What do we have to offer? Well...to be honest, it would most likely be all pro-bono but if you're really good and you're of European descent, we may be able to send you to Tokyo to meet Keiko.

2006-09-11T14:14:00.000-04:00

Farewell Andre
(Greenday - Time of Your Life)

If you're a sports fan, the one thing you hope to see in your lifetime is an athlete that pushes the sport to another level; an athlete that transcends his own sport and inspires all those that watch. I've been watching sports for 20+ years and I've been blessed to see the likes of Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky, Mario Lemieux, Tiger Woods and Pete Sampras. Some of these athletes are still playing but most of them have retired and moved onto the next phase of their lives. Last week another one of these great athletes retired. Andre Agassi played his last tennis match on Sept 3rd at the US Open.

He came into the tennis tour in 1986 as a rebel. He pushed the boundaries of tennis’ strict sartorial boundaries with his colourful outfits, long rocker hair and an earring. Paving the way for the unique outfits you see on the tennis tour today. After winning several grand slams in the 90’s, he had a serious wrist injury in 1997 and had to rededicate his life to tennis. Working harder than he ever did before and becoming a role model for all the younger tennis players, he became the #1 ranked player in the world and won several more grand slam titles for a total of 8 in his career. This was his speech after his final match at the US Open this year.

The scoreboard said I lost today, but what the scoreboard doesn't say is what it is I have found.

And over the last 21 years, I have found loyalty. You have pulled for me on the court and also in life.

I've found inspiration. You have willed me to succeed sometimes even in my lowest moments.

And I've found generosity. You have given me your shoulders to stand on to reach for my dreams, dreams I could have never reached without you.

Over the last 21 years, I have found you. And I will take you and the memory of you with me for the rest of my life.

One of the most humble and genuine speeches I’ve ever heard from an athlete and Andre’s presence in the sport will be dearly missed.

And as one tennis great retires, another one is making his mark in tennis history. Arguably the best player ever, Roger Federer beat Andy Roddick yesterday to win his 9th grand slam tournament. He needs 5 more to tie Pete Sampras’ record of 14. Roger beat Andy decisively in 4 sets, 6-2, 4-6, 7-5, 6-1. The match statistics showed that Roger hit 69 quadrillion winners to Andy’s 33. And although, Andy is known to have the bigger serve, Roger out aced him 17 bazillion to 7. And fittingly, Roger had another dominant athlete in his guest box.

Some guy by the name of Tiger Woods.

If you’re not a sports fan yet, this is a great time to start watching. Tiger and Roger are rewriting the record books as we speak and when they’re done, they will have left an unquestionable mark in their respective sports.

2006-09-07T16:00:00.000-04:00

Unsuspecting Circumstances
(Lifehouse – Blind)

So Douglas Coupland has a screenplay showing at the Toronto Film Festival this year. The one year I have chosen not to get tickets. Total bummer. Hopefully I can catch it when it comes out on video. Here’s a little synopsis of his movie.

Pyramid schemes, monster grow-ops and lucrative white lies: you're either in the game or getting played. Set in a Vancouver overtaken by film crews, where costumed aliens wander aimlessly between craft services and the set, Everything's Gone Green comically illustrates how hard it is to know what's real in a world filled with fakery and hidden agendas. Oddly touching and permeated with a sense of fun, this debut original screenplay from iconic author Douglas Coupland affectionately asks not what, but who you want to be when you grow up.

Ryan (Paulo Costanzo) believes in small, manageable dreams. Dumped by his yuppie girlfriend, he gets a dispiriting job with a lottery magazine, photographing winners and writing their stories. In a Mandarin language class he's taking for work, he meets the lovely Ming (Steph Song) and is immediately smitten. However, Ming has a slick boyfriend, Bryce (JR Bourne), who designs golf courses for private clubs whose members never show up.

The weirdly abandoned courses are a small piece in a large and dubious puzzle and, spotting an angle, Bryce tries to involve Ryan. As he watches friends and family achieve greater materialistic fulfillment, Ryan wonders why he shouldn't play the game, trade in two wheels for four and maybe, finally, get the girl. When Ming and Bryce break up, all Ryan needs to do is convince her he's different from Bryce - but suddenly that's harder than he ever expected.

Director Paul Fox and his note-perfect cast achieve a lighthearted tone delicately poised between comic exaggeration and recognizable reality. Costanzo is effortlessly charming as Ryan, and the supporting players are clearly having a blast. Coupland's influence can be felt throughout, as the insouciant visual world is often reminiscent of his own art.

Everything's Gone Green good-naturedly reminds us that the line between getting by and becoming corrupt is sometimes very thin, and that the most convincing lies are the ones we tell ourselves.

I’ve been a Coupland fan ever since Spooner introduced him to me back in university. I guess the thing that attracts me to Coupland’s writing is his understanding of the current times (or the zeitgeist for you romantics). He takes an individual or a group of individuals that represent a generation and he leads them from the dazed and confused to some grandeur revelation. And the characters all seem so hopeless and insignificant initially. Sort of how most of us feel as we transition from one phase of our lives to the next. It’s something I think all of us can relate to. And somehow through a series of unsuspecting events, they find their way and become aware of their purpose in life. I’d like to think that I’m one of these Coupland’s characters somewhere in the middle of the book, still searching for my reason for being -- walking around filled with self-doubt; engaging in clever dialogue and insightful conversations with the other characters in my life and waiting for that series of circumstances that will guide me to the end of this book.

2006-09-06T14:35:00.000-04:00

FMB - Do Your Research
www.fantasymoneyball.com

For all you fantasy sports enthusiasts, we've finally released the beta version of our website. Sign-up, look around, DO YOUR RESEARCH, and let us know how we can improve this site for you.

Maybe now, I'll have some time to catch up on blogging!

2006-08-21T19:28:00.000-04:00

The Vulnerable Get Eaten by Vultures
(Lifehouse - Everything)

My generation doesn't talk. We let the air out of your tires. We talk behind your backs and spread nasty rumours about you.

I don't open up easily. The only place I've opened up are in letters, over msn, on the phone and on this blog -- all the impersonal mediums of communication.

I am not a people person. I belong in a book.

2006-06-15T02:09:00.000-04:00

I’m Popeye the Spiteful Man
(Ladytron – Destroy Everything You Touch)

Coming from a science background, I fully appreciate what our scientists are doing on a day to day basis -- trying to solve some of the biggest issues of our generation like the AIDS, cancer, the mutant X gene, etc. However, from a purely selfish perspective, I'd like to see scientists take on this idea.

Isolate the Spite Chemical.

Have you noticed what people are capable of when they're bitter? Outside of natural ambition, I don't think there's a single motivator better than spite. I knew a guy that learned how to speak a language fluently because people kept teasing him. This same guy also learned how to ski and got his skiing instructors license for the very same reason. Now if we can isolate the chemical in the brain that fuels this type of motivational spite, we could reproduce this in mass quantities and sell it in a can. It could be your own Popeye spinach! Imagine how focused you’d be as an athlete after taking a few shots of this chemical before a game. And the great thing about it is, no one can accuse you of cheating. What are they going to test for? Spite?

Just imagine how much money you could make from selling a product like this. I know I’d pre-order a few crates if it were available (not that I don't have high levels of spite already).

2006-05-21T02:56:00.000-04:00

For Simplicity Sake
(Feist - Mushaboom (Postal Service Rmx))

So after a 5 hr nap in the evening, I'm now up at this ungodly hour taking care of things I should've taken care of when I decided to slumber. What's lovely about this time of night is that no one's up and there are very few distractions. So I've managed to do my laundry, download some pictures from my camera, take care of some bills and now I'm blogging. I don't really have much to say these days. It seems lately, I've been more into living life than writing about it. I guess that's a good thing, no? Anyhow, here are some random events that have made me smile, laugh, almost cry (because boys don't cry), pull my hair out, etc.

- I got the plague/cold and spent 3 days at home 2 weeks ago.
- My boss resigned due to overwhelming stress.
- The company server and WAN went down all on the same week that I had a cold.
- My other company launched the alpha version of our website, stay tuned for the link!
- I got a modded xbox from friends for my bday and I've been playing Karaoke Revolution and Topspin non-stop. A-ha's Take On Me has never been butchered so many times and I sing a great rendition of My Immortal by Evanescence.
- I am now convinced that the concept of "The One" is far too convenient to be true.
- The white orchids I got Sonia's parents last year are still alive and flowering like Barry Bonds juiced them.
- I spent last week in St.Paul, MN doing some company training. Hotels feel so empty even though they seem to be little flourishing cities all on their own.
- Rhianna's sample of Tainted Love makes me want to dance, and I normally hate when artists sample classic tunes.
- Saw the Strokes again and they still are one of the best live performing bands out there.
- I hear Emily Haines has a solo album coming out soon. She might be the coolest rocker chic alive. If you haven't heard any of her music, download a few Metric songs.
- Fishing season and vacation season is coming up. I'm headed to Vancouver for 10 days at the end of June with Sonia and headed north to the cottage for a week in mid-July.
- My little cousins from California are coming to visit in July for a month. They are adorable.
- If you haven't seen Shakespeare in the Park, I'd highly recommend it. Last year they performed Much Ado About Nothing. This year they're showing Comedy of Errors. This will be the 3rd year Sonia and I have gone.
- Happy 3 year anniversary Sonia!